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9

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8JEANNIE45
10Ogg

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It took two to hook me up;
The wires, the glue, my head
Bearing coils, an electrical Medusa.
A brain to poke and probe, the swing
Arm strobe hangs above me
Flickering fast and bright, Stare
Into the light! Someone barks.
It’s an assault, all squares and triangles.
They come fast, furiously inciting
The brain spit and spike.
Strapped, I clench my fist tight,
Fight, feel my whole body tense,
The jerk, myoclonic. I am seized
By some god, all blue buzz and fury,
He turns my green eyes gray -
Silver-mirrors – and I pray
Not to let him take me, shaking
My bones in their sockets til
I rattle like some crude shaman’s
Toy. I hear the leaded needle,
Scratching on the graph, plotting
Fast the spikes and waves,
My snow-capped North,
My deep, lush South.
Jaw clenched I bite,
My tongue bleeds rubies,
Til I make the grand crossing,
Til the voyage is over, and
The Big Bad comes and I am
Dropped from his grip like
A rag doll, limp and vacant.
Eyes opened, someone says,
“Sarah, wake up. Today
you did well.”


------
Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti

http://www.tantmieux.squarespace.com/
http://www.sottovocce.blogspot.com/
http://www.cabinetist.blogspot.com/


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Comments

The following comments are for "electroencephologram - EEG"
by sadijane

cephalus
The sheer stream of the thoughts aroused by this experience deserves a non-techncial, non-medical title, something like "Electroencephalous," and very fittingly, because the stream of experiences is beyond physiology, it is almost hypercerebrally electric.

Regardz,

Teflone

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: December 15, 2004 )

tef
teflon, good point. i hadn't thought of that, but that's clever and would work. maybe i'll change it before i send it out. i wanted it to be clear what the poem was about, which is why i named it that - i was taught the first rule of poetry is to have your reader know what you are talking bout, otherwise, he said, you have failed. I took that to heart many years ago. But that said, your title still tells the tale, but is more whimsicical and slightly otherworldly and i like that.

Thanks -- i just went through this the other day and it just came out of my pen with only a few drafts... i wanted to convey as best i could the seizure experience. always hard. but i tried.

thanks again for the tip... i'm grateful

be well,

sadi

( Posted by: sadijane [Member] On: December 15, 2004 )

Sadi
I have epilepsy and it is the one subject I seem unable to write about without trivialising it in some way. I rate your poem 10 without hesitation. You conjured up so many images and emotions for me. Which is surely the hope of every writer to evoke emotions in other people. I feel so angry about job opportunities lost due to my having to admit I have the condition. You may have inspired me to try again and write about the big E. I go now to pick up pen and paper. I always write ideas out in long-hand first, sometime between 7 and 12pm when I lose concentration and that allows my mind to wander. It's amazing what concepts are spawned in the warped shadows of my imagination when I'm feeling knackered. Actually, it's tea-time, so I must eat first and write later.
Thank you
Paul

( Posted by: Ogg [Member] On: December 15, 2004 )

EEG
Sadi, You do have a way with expression, even this a serious subject, you were able to make light of it, and bring a smile to your reader's face. Example: "an electrical Medusa" was hysterical. Wonderful read. Enjoy reading you.

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: December 15, 2004 )

hi nae
hi nae - thanks for taking the time to comment. i was going to comment on your poem after thewrite off is over. some people have made nasty comments etc, and that's a shame - i hope you know that i wish you the very very best and that i think you have great talent and are a truly worthy person to have the write off with. we were well matched, and thanks for playing and either way, i think we both win because we both wrote poems from the heart.

all very best to you and have a joyous season... and thanks for commenting on this .

be well, and all best to you - i look forward to seeing more of your work now that we've "met."

sadi

( Posted by: sadijane [Member] On: December 15, 2004 )





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