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For weeks I believed
It was i. that none other
Could hold your heart, your love,
Your sex, not after was had
Method so fully. For those brief
Summer weeks I was the One,
Beloved and chosen, you’d forsaken
All others and, I believed, without
Barely an effort. It was we and we
Only. Never did I imagine a third.
The extra in the wings, awaiting
Her moment on stage. Ego had
Allowed me a respite of peace.
But once you were certain,
Once you were sure I had closed
The door on any other and hard
And fully, your old self, now safe,
Emerged, a regular charmer, you
Held traitorous tete a tetes with
Some ethereal bleached goddess,
Sexing it up for some cheap consolation,
Some fucking validation, while
Elsewhere one wife cried, the other
Almost died, numbing the shock
With one too many blues and you
Appeared, some half-assed hero
Rushing to the hospital where
She was bound by the joints like
The Madwoman of Bedlam,
Face contorted by your duplicity,
This thing you had caused yet
All you saw was your own red-
Hot rage.

Ancient history. Years now gone
And I am here. Still you speak
Of anger. Still year’s you’ve
Brought in others and always
Expecting (and receiving) the
Endless forgiveness you demand,
You require. Today, as you spoke,
It came to me. I saw the two
Of us standing in the middle
Of the frozen lake and from
The shadow, I saw her, our
Last present third, shedding
Off her darkness. The only
Sound that I heard was that
Of the ice as it began
To crack all around us.


------
Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti

http://www.tantmieux.squarespace.com/
http://www.sottovocce.blogspot.com/
http://www.cabinetist.blogspot.com/


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Comments

The following comments are for "deception"
by sadijane

deception
Incredible write Sadi, I loved it from beginning to end! WOW!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: December 14, 2004 )

nae and bob
well, thanks guys. i was worried about how this one would be perceived as some kind of plea for pity, when it's not at all. i just wanted to capture that sense of betrayal and grief tht you find when one has cheated or lied to you and how you eventually, find that the only way to survive is to pull your love back, which is sad, because then even that can be used against you for future betrayal (ie., you weren't paying attention to me, you were angry with me, so i ... blah blah blah) which is totally invalid, in my view, but then, i have strong views on this stuff. and it's just my opinion.

I'm really glad you both liked this. It just came out all at once, which is rare.

Awful thing: i lost one of myh poetry notebooks yesterday at a cafe, and so i've lost about five poems that i had not yet typed up, alas. Maybe they'll appear under someone else's name - though bonne chance reading my handwriting! lol.

happy season to you both, and thanks again... be well...

sadi

( Posted by: sadijane [Member] On: December 16, 2004 )





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