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I saw the tragedy in the way she moved
and a sadness in the way she smiled
A bit undeserving to be contained so needlessly
A bit unnerving that she could not be

Never wary when she reached to reveal the stars
Never mindful that she would not be denied

She sat so subtle in the egress
Yet in that moment I could see her drifting
Smiling and laughing as she moved to wave goodbye
And that moment slipped away


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Comments

The following comments are for "the motion"
by dachish

impressed yet again
Dach,
Kohai,
Once again I find myself anxious to see more of your work. I was left wanting more of this piece, but not left unsatisfied with it in the least. It ties together well, and conveys a deep sense of wistful sadness that I know all to well. Keep it up, I'll be waiting with baited breath.

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: May 10, 2002 )

to dachish
This is great. Smooth flowing and wonderful.

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: May 13, 2002 )

bittersweet
I really loved the way you wrote this piece... its gorgeous, lovely flow, although there are a couple of lines that i thought could be worded slightly better, but not at all anything to detract from the piece.

My thanks for sharing ^_^

Ju =*_*=

( Posted by: De`esse [Member] On: May 13, 2002 )





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