Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
9.2

(5 votes)


RatingRated by
10chapter1
8eleutheromaniac
9geekygirl04
9JEANNIE45
10PETERPAULINO

You must login to vote

There's a subtle sorcery
in her midnight smile
and her song that hides behind
the radio when we're on the road a while

There's a spell that's scribed
in the curve of her sleeping back
and the arcane ordering of limbs
beneath our sheets when lights turn to black

There's an whispered incantation
that rides beneath her words
when she's telling another story
that she's forgotten that I've heard.

Everyday may not be magical
and we've seen our share of rain
but whether or not the sun is shining
she keeps me spellbound just the same.


------
Smile if you're stupid,
laugh if you understand.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Spellbound"
by Bartleby

spell
Great write. The rhyme scheme was very well done. Great imagery, I love the line "in the curve of her sleeping back."

One edit, first line of the third stanza, an should be a.

Good to see you writing again.

( Posted by: everybodyelsesgirl [Member] On: December 10, 2004 )

Spellbound
Bart,
This is the perfect title for this. It left me under the influence of your magic. I think this one is my favorite of yours. Wonderful!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: December 10, 2004 )

Bart: Spellbound
"and her song that hides behind
the radio when we're on the road a while"

That's a great wording of a keen observation. Don't we all like to sing along but not so much as to call too much attention to ourselves. That's why the observation is so keen!

Nice compact serenade, Bart.

Lans

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: December 10, 2004 )

Spellbound
I am glad I am not the only guy writing about spells and stuff. I enjoyed this very much, so romantic in a way that I really like. 'we've seen our share of rain' is what appealed tome most. A bit funny too ~ in a romantic kinda way, especially at the third stanza.

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: December 10, 2004 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: