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9hazelfaern

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Poetry,

More like the music in my ears
The tingle on my feat
The window panes never looked so pretty
Stare at me and wish for tomorrow
I will only stay the same
Wishing for you.

Tomorrow brings a dove in my palms and leaves of green.

Parts of the panes are multicolored hues of red and blue
Spliced together in an amalgam of quilt patterns
Diversified naturally, the shades followed into the eve
the drowning melodies of classical music from the Romantic era

We all wished for a house with five rooms and fireplace with snow dogs
Sleeping by
Tomorrow holds indefinitely a time
To


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Comments

The following comments are for "The englewood"
by xinerama

Xinerama Adoring
Xin, this holds such a bittersweet feeling. I'm almost overwhelmed.

I really feel this is the best thing you've posted on the site, so far. It has such an unpretentious, honest sense to it and such a wonderful sensitivity.

I wonder if "Universified naturally, the shades followed into the eve" might work better if follow were left in a current state as "follow"? That's such a minor quibble, yet I think it allows for multiple readings of the line -- shade as both shadow and haunting, eve as both evening and primal woman.

I love your final line. I think "Tomorrow holds indefinately a time/ to" may haunt me for an indefinate time to come.

I also believe congrats are in order -- this is such a leap from your other works. It makes me wonder where your poetry twin has been hiding? This is excellent, excellent work.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: December 8, 2004 )

Old hat
I do not exactly recall when this was written, but it was in the last year. I found it in my mail out/bill box and decided that it needed to go up. The part about the dove is very uncharacteristic of me. I hardly ever incorporate animals other than domesticated ones into my poetry.I don't know about changing Diversified though. Because as I was typing it I thought about stocks and thought God, diversified. That is how I wish that I would have gone out.Thank you for your comment. I needed something to pep me up since it is finals week. :|

( Posted by: Xinerama [Member] On: December 8, 2004 )





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