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You set me up
Make me tense
And then silence…

You make me hot
Teasing me
Seducing me
Making me anxious
And then disappear…

You awaken my body
I desire you
fantasize about you
Lust for you
then you wait at a distance…

Listen up
Stay the course
Keep your focus
Draw near
See it through…

Do what you came here for
Quench my desires
Fulfill my fantasies
Seduce me
And then do it again, if you dare…

I am on a journey. Looking for Me. Everyday I get a little closer. The more time goes by the more I realize I'm always changing. This journey could take forever... Renae L. Soler

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The following comments are for "Dare"
by nae411

this poem was good. the last line scared me though. haha. good luck to the one that dares.

jimmy g.

( Posted by: JimmyAndHisRocket [Member] On: December 3, 2004 )

Dare Jimmyandhisrocket
Jimmy thank you for your comment, a lot more than luck will be needed, lol. ;0)


( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: December 3, 2004 )

Nae ... different
This feels a little different to your other work. I LOVE it. The sentiments in this piece could be taken in to other areas in life as well. (other than your favourite area - that is. ) Still the saucy minx I see!! h.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: December 3, 2004 )

Dare not
I'd be affraid to dissapoint ;) Another saucy/ sensual piece. Look forward to the next work.

( Posted by: snapshot [Member] On: December 4, 2004 )

very provoking
Classic Nae. There are two words that seem to stick out incongruously from the tender imploring that I know is you rstyle - "listen up." It smacks of drill instructors, a lunch-truck drivers, rap singers, but you are the queen presiding in your glamor palace of seduction, jasmine candles, Yanni music and blue-grottoed darkened jacuzzis.

Instead of "listen up" why not interrupt a reader from the generalistic flow and say something sudden:

"Come over"
"call me now."

or better.

Regardz from the gorgeous bathroom appointed with blue shells,


( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: December 5, 2004 )

Huni/snapshot/Daedalus/and Tef..
Huni!!!!! Hi my friend, saucy minx I will be forever, I hope. I missed you!!! Love having you back, thank you.

Snapshot, one will only disappoint if they don't see it through. No fear! Thanks.

Daedalus, Welcome to! Thank you, Hot is good. No other words needed! I appreciate your comment.

Hi Teflon, I agree "Listen up" is kind of Rapper related, hmm, will give that some thought. That whole verse is kind of sarcastic in tone, would have love to have said something like "Seduce me already!" but I will show some restraint, lol. Thank you for reading. You make me laugh with your reference to bathroom glamour.


( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: December 5, 2004 )

some more
or you can say,
"come have me,"
"come and get me"
"grab me and I'll follow"

and then:

"see ME through..."

"Quench my desires" becomes a bit cliche, knowing you, so convert it to
"make me whimper"
"listen to my gasps"

and the like. Because you have already built up a green light for yourself to be more explicit.


( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: December 5, 2004 )

I was hoping for steamy when I read the title.

This is a great write. The only thing I might change, is the last line of the 4th stanza. Stanzas 1-3 end with lines that contradict the rest of the stanza, you do this to me, then you do the opposite. I might format that stanza to follow that form as well. I love it!! Wonderful job.

( Posted by: everybodyelsesgirl [Member] On: December 9, 2004 )

I just had to see what the dare was all about. I think this is a great write and I wouldn't change a thing about it. I really got to make it a point to read more of your work...

( Posted by: doc [Member] On: January 8, 2005 )

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