Swing Shift (Haiku and Reverse)
by hazelfaern (Member) - published: November 17, 2004
Word Count: 29 Word Bytes: 196 Viewed: 858 times
Category - Haiku
© Copyright by hazelfaern

9.5

(4 votes)

Rating	Rated by

9	chapter1

10	Clairesbest

9	Siah

10	Viper9

You must login to vote

The cradle of night
In which we drift, playing out
Our taut feline games

Our taut feline games
In which we drift, playing out
The cradle of night

------
"All the darkness in the world
cannot put out the light
of one candle"

Related Items

Judgements (3 Haiku)

Withdrawal: Dead Letter Thoughts (4 Haiku)

Traceless in an Ice Age

Forgiveness Disarms

Heaven Opens

Political Stumping

More by hazelfaern »

Comments

The following comments are for "Swing Shift (Haiku and Reverse)"
by hazelfaern

and reverse
i like that you have the reverse there, it works both ways, really cool idea!

( Posted by: supergranny [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )

Felines
I like this piece. It is short and sweet, something really great for the short and sweet termed memories that America's Gen Xers are suffering from. :) I remember humid nights and the sea, as such, all too well.Honestly, I have not been writing much lately. When I do write I am usually complaining about something, or it is mandated that I do so. If you want to know more, drop me a line.Elias

( Posted by: xinerama [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )

Hazel...
...Dahling, fantastic! Glad to see you back.

-SD

( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: November 18, 2004 )

Pen I Know
It's an idea I absorbed off of you. Actually, I said as much in a comment on my last haiku series "Dead Letter Thoughts" -- the whole of which can be read reversed except for a minor quibble in the middle line of the first/ last haiku installment. Still working on that series, actually.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 19, 2004 )

Reversable haiku
Great hi-coos as Teflon would say.

Your husband and wife must be so proud, hehehe.

*wink*

Alex

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: November 19, 2004 )

Marital Confusion, Alex
I'm glad you enjoyed the haiku but your next comment has appearantly flown right over my head. You see, sir, I have no matrimonial bonds in any sense, not even those special kinds which one can only acquire in the state of Vermont. For the record I do have one boyfriend, who is enough of a handful in his own right. Errrrm.... hmmmmm. Am I missing an obvious pun, then?

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 19, 2004 )

LOL Hazel
Sorry, it my warped little mind, you haiku swings both ways you see *wink*. hehe.

Alex xxx

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: November 20, 2004 )

lovely, lovely
might be a bit of a weird one at an out-loud poetry reading, but it's great in print/screen.

nice one.

( Posted by: ark [Member] On: November 20, 2004 )

Ark!!!!!!!!!!!!
My goodness, just when I'd come to the firm conclusion that you'd been swallowed up by a random interdimensional wormhole, you reappear out of nowhere.

Thanks for not nudging me on laying undue weight on the shift key.

I've missed your words -- it's good to see your avatar again, lady. I'm just slightly suppressing the hope of seeing more of your work again soon.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 20, 2004 )

Feline Sway
I'm glad everyone enjoyed this haiku -- I wasn't entirely sure it worked, but there's an odd feeling connected to working through the night and finishing up a day at dawn. I was going to bed the other night just as that light silver glow began to impinge the dark when the "cradle of night" line hit me. I used "taut" and "feline" because I was hoping to somewhat subtly imply "cat's cradle" though I'm not entirely sure that implication underscores anything vital, here.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 20, 2004 )

Impressive
Jesus, it actually makes sense in both directions. Skillful work.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: November 20, 2004 )

I like
DUde me likes. may i become your padiwan?
Anyway, great job.

( Posted by: Siah [Member] On: November 22, 2004 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Login:
Password: