Swing Shift (Haiku and Reverse)
by hazelfaern (Member) - published: November 17, 2004
Word Count: 29 Word Bytes: 196 Viewed: 944 times
Category - Haiku
© Copyright by hazelfaern

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The cradle of night
In which we drift, playing out
Our taut feline games

Our taut feline games
In which we drift, playing out
The cradle of night

------
"All the darkness in the world
cannot put out the light
of one candle"

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Comments

The following comments are for "Swing Shift (Haiku and Reverse)"
by hazelfaern

and reverse
i like that you have the reverse there, it works both ways, really cool idea!

( Posted by: supergranny [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )

Felines
I like this piece. It is short and sweet, something really great for the short and sweet termed memories that America's Gen Xers are suffering from. :) I remember humid nights and the sea, as such, all too well.Honestly, I have not been writing much lately. When I do write I am usually complaining about something, or it is mandated that I do so. If you want to know more, drop me a line.Elias

( Posted by: xinerama [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )

Hazel...
...Dahling, fantastic! Glad to see you back.

-SD

( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: November 18, 2004 )

Pen I Know
It's an idea I absorbed off of you. Actually, I said as much in a comment on my last haiku series "Dead Letter Thoughts" -- the whole of which can be read reversed except for a minor quibble in the middle line of the first/ last haiku installment. Still working on that series, actually.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 19, 2004 )

Reversable haiku
Great hi-coos as Teflon would say.

Your husband and wife must be so proud, hehehe.

*wink*

Alex

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: November 19, 2004 )

Marital Confusion, Alex
I'm glad you enjoyed the haiku but your next comment has appearantly flown right over my head. You see, sir, I have no matrimonial bonds in any sense, not even those special kinds which one can only acquire in the state of Vermont. For the record I do have one boyfriend, who is enough of a handful in his own right. Errrrm.... hmmmmm. Am I missing an obvious pun, then?

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 19, 2004 )

LOL Hazel
Sorry, it my warped little mind, you haiku swings both ways you see *wink*. hehe.

Alex xxx

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: November 20, 2004 )

lovely, lovely
might be a bit of a weird one at an out-loud poetry reading, but it's great in print/screen.

nice one.

( Posted by: ark [Member] On: November 20, 2004 )

Ark!!!!!!!!!!!!
My goodness, just when I'd come to the firm conclusion that you'd been swallowed up by a random interdimensional wormhole, you reappear out of nowhere.

Thanks for not nudging me on laying undue weight on the shift key.

I've missed your words -- it's good to see your avatar again, lady. I'm just slightly suppressing the hope of seeing more of your work again soon.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 20, 2004 )

Feline Sway
I'm glad everyone enjoyed this haiku -- I wasn't entirely sure it worked, but there's an odd feeling connected to working through the night and finishing up a day at dawn. I was going to bed the other night just as that light silver glow began to impinge the dark when the "cradle of night" line hit me. I used "taut" and "feline" because I was hoping to somewhat subtly imply "cat's cradle" though I'm not entirely sure that implication underscores anything vital, here.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 20, 2004 )

Impressive
Jesus, it actually makes sense in both directions. Skillful work.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: November 20, 2004 )

I like
DUde me likes. may i become your padiwan?
Anyway, great job.

( Posted by: Siah [Member] On: November 22, 2004 )

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