Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
9.5

(2 votes)


RatingRated by
9frenchie
10JimmyAndHisRock..

You must login to vote



Verse:

Floating on, uprising feeling toward the ceiling.
Catch my breath, lungs are filled with pleasure.
The floor below doesnt exist,
Rolling again, this must be a dream. . .

Chorus:

And all the faces i see in my head,
They cant be made up, or miss read.
It always seems to turn to glum,
but for right now i am sailing numb. . .

Verse 2:

Touching me, is like touching you,
It is felt 1000 times the touch.
My life is but a calm, mellow daze,
For everything i am seeing is through this haze. . .

Chorus:

And all the faces i see in my head,
They cant be made up, or miss read.
It always seems to turn to glum,
but for right now i am sailing numb. . .

Bridge:

Shivering cold, i lost my edge,
One wrong move i'll lose my head
Someone save me from these fears,
Ive spent my life shedding tears. . .

Final Chorus:

And all those faces in my head,
They have left and gone to bed.
All those mistakes i have made were dumb,
so please forgive me... i was.... i was.... i was sailing numb.







------
Norris & Bumpkins Inc.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Sailing Numb"
by CheddyAndNorris

Wow
That was really good cheddy. A lot better than some of your previous work. The only thing I'm confused about is "It always seems to turn to glum" I'm not sure how something can turn to glum...it just doesn't seem to work. Everything else is superb though.

( Posted by: frenchie [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )

sailors
first off...i think that this was a great write from cheddy.

frenchie- do you really think that the one "faulty" line should bring the rating down a whole point. you said that the writing was superb...thats not a nine. and in defense of cheddy and his "faulty" line...i think taht it works fine. it just simply says things turn bad. the high doesnt last forever. i dont really know but to me...glum works fine.

cheddy- nice work. i love the path that you've taken with your last two writes...nicely done. i also love how you took a well used topic (damage done by hardcore drugs) and mostly avoided unoriginalty. nice work...i give it a ten.

jimmy g.

xrrrrraaaaaaaaaagjh.

( Posted by: JimmyAndHisRocket [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )

Jimmy...
Using the word glum is a completely wrong part of speech. One cannot "turn to glum", one can be glum, or act glumly. It also was not used just one time, but serveral, as it is contained in the chorus and repeated several times. As far as taking a "whole point" off, if I was capable of only removing half a point, I would have done so.

Meh!

( Posted by: frenchie [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )

Peanut Butter
Absolutely terrible.

( Posted by: PeriwinkleMoses [Member] On: August 15, 2006 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: