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Withdrawal: Dead Letter Thoughts (4 Haiku)

Free time, restless hands
Spare jangling two cents in a
Vending machine world

Thoughts I cannot spend
Idle time spins itself, free
Falls in a coin flip

In the tone post click
Endlessly ringing neutral
Your last words echo

Free hands wrestle time
Haunt spare glints I canít address
Just dead letter thoughts


------
"All the darkness in the world
cannot put out the light
of one candle"


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Comments

The following comments are for "Withdrawal: Dead Letter Thoughts (4 Haiku)"
by hazelfaern

drawn within


Deep meaning seeming
just beyond my grasping hands
haunting words echo

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 16, 2004 )

Thoughts I Can't Address
That's funny windchime that your favorite is my unfavorite and my unfavorite is your favorite -- perhapse because I like Penelope's notion that a good haiku should be as powerful, if not more so, read last line first, first line last. I suppose I worked out this series of haikus somewhat like a crossword puzzle, and the first haiku is the one which simply doesn't work into the format. You can see what I mean by reading this series upside down --

Just dead letter thoughts
Haunt Spare glints I can't address
Free hands wrestle time

Your last words echo
Endlessly ringing neutral
In the tone post click

Falls in a coin flip
Idle time spins itself, free
Thoughts I cannot spend

Vending machine world
Spare jangling two cents in a
Free time, restlss hands

"Dead Letter" is the phrase used for mail which cannot be forwarded or returned. I used the coin imagery as a play on both phrases "here's my two cents" and "a penny for your thoughts". Like walking around in a vending machine gallery with precisely the wrong kind of currency, these are thoughts which can't go anywhere, though flipped, reversed, spun in the light -- there is nothing to catch them, they have nowhere to go.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )

Hazel's Haikus
I love the way this was written. I have to say the last two haikus are my favorite. Very strong and poignant read from any direction. Strong piece as a whole, or in parts. Very interesting too, to see it flipped. Well done.

( Posted by: everybodyelsesgirl [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )

Haiklinks
Great haiku chain. I'm glad to se it developed.

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )





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