Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
8.33

(3 votes)


RatingRated by
7Unknown
10Unknown
8desconocida

You must login to vote

The sun greeted us
But forlornly went away
The clouds disappeared
Though they returned to stay

Dark was the day
And cold was the air
When the birds flew away
And left us there

The cold wind was new
a tree is whipped unmercifully
away the trash flew
to fly tirelessly




Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "fiction"
by hbaybb

to hbaybb
That is really depressing.

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: May 1, 2002 )

let me just say this
Unmercifully is too long a word.

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: May 2, 2002 )

good
That's all that needs to be said, very good.

( Posted by: Demonic Baboon [Member] On: May 2, 2002 )

Depressing, isn't it?
This is depressing, but it's also a very well written piece, so I guess both go hand in hand. It's very good, I mean it, it is.

( Posted by: TrojanTony [Member] On: May 2, 2002 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: