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Cooler still
The whispered gusts
Pull handfuls of leaves
From the trees
And brush my hair
Against my cheek
Almost enough
To think of you

Still, the sighing boughs
Creak a song of letting go
And I know Ė itís true

There is nothing to regret
Autumn reigns the wiser Eros
For every act of
Selfless acceptance
Is an act of love

"All the darkness in the world
cannot put out the light
of one candle"

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The following comments are for "Autumn's Eros"
by hazelfaern

Celtic Smell
Although I didn't feel this flowed as well as it could have with just a little touching up, it had almost an "Irish" beauty about it.

( Posted by: A. Cain [Member] On: November 15, 2004 )

Great work as usual!! I adore the lines "for every act of selfless acceptance is an act of love"

One small question, in the last two lines of the first stanza. "Almost enough to think of you."
Doesnít the writing of the poem, and alluding to the hair on the cheek reminding you of that person make it enough to remind you? Not almost enough? I donít even know if that came out coherently. Anyhow, great poem. I adore it, as I do all your work.

( Posted by: everybodyelsesgirl [Member] On: November 15, 2004 )

A. Cain -- I think you're right in that this poem still needs a little more work. It's simply that I wanted to capture a fleeting thought in a subtle moment without overwhelming it with description or prologue.

EEG -- "Almost enough" Yeah, I struggled with that. I may change it, yet. It's just, well, haven't you ever been half-haunted by something, a memory or thought which hangs just on the tip of the moment, almost but not quite there? That's what I was going for, here.

Thanks for the honest feedback. Perhaps with just a little more steeping I may find a way to fine tune this piece.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 15, 2004 )

I know what you mean
I know what you mean, perhaps a different word. It's because I know what you mean, though, that I know the thought IS caused, not almost caused. Hmmm....what about just? Just enough to think of you?

And don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE the piece. I just got caught in that one spot!

( Posted by: Everybodyelsesgirl [Member] On: November 15, 2004 )

The answers are in the wind. I like this too, nostalgic. And about Irish beauty, I believe in that. I listened to Irish artists who are also composers and writers of their own song. They are very beautiful - for me, I don't know about the others. The last stanza bites painfully, no matter how noble is what it says.

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: December 15, 2004 )

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