Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Two-Tongued Poetry

(For You; for your patience that brought us together in these months)


Here I embrace you, as our eyes tingle of a mellifluous dream
Kissing your sad, trembling calm of lips

My mind cuddles every metaphoric smooch you give
a ripple that waves to a sunrise, beseeching oceanic awe

Your keeping me is a sunglimpse feeling,
asking your reciprocity, at first the moon, then darkness lights

Sleeping the nights with you I cover your shadows
following after the beach winds stirring the dapple coconut trees

The traipsing ocean beneath undulates a rage
covering our tongues afire; of which passion can never be written

Our bodies rock, slowly in the mooring sighs
drifting from lovecoasts and landsbeyond words cannot explore.



------
Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary. -- Sir Cecil Beaton (1904-1980) English photographer


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Two-Tongued Poetry"
by Idomis

Tongues poem
I didn't really get into this poem until the last 3 stanzas which is much, much better than the first 3 stanzas. I feel some real poetry emerges in the last 3 stanzas - and I really like your use of the word "moorings" and the image of the coconut trees ( is it supposed to be "dappled"?).

If this were my poem, I would go back and revisit the first 3 stanzas and re-write them. Which of course is not easy to do.

I've written many poems that started out kind of strange and not very good and as I'm writing it, it starts to get better. Later, when going back to re-do the beginning, I've found that I've had to get back into the same emotional mood I was in when I originally wrote it. Otherwise, my revisions usually suck.

At any rate, I liked reading your poem. I've read many of your other poems and comments but just haven't had the time to comment myself.

I know we share a favorite poet, "Shakti." Too bad she hasn't been around of late.

Keep up the writing, man, and keep feeling the passion.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: November 13, 2004 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: