Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
8

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
8Teflon

You must login to vote

Listless
We break at the point
unto which we find
ourselves missing.
Waxing and finally
waning to become
an egalitarian.

These journeys
Touquville would
attend and untie the
bound uncivil union
between us and dreams.

Wake up, he would
shout but
somber are these locutions.



Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Meanderings"
by xinerama

Missing
Now this is interesting, especially the first stanza. But why "unto"? Why not "at the point"?

How does a plural become an egalitarian? I liked the waxing and waning bit.

I'd like to see you build on this a little more -- you've got some promising material. I think with a bit of setting in place of the general "these journeys" your poem would be stronger and more meaningful.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 14, 2004 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: