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We break at the point
unto which we find
ourselves missing.
Waxing and finally
waning to become
an egalitarian.

These journeys
Touquville would
attend and untie the
bound uncivil union
between us and dreams.

Wake up, he would
shout but
somber are these locutions.

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The following comments are for "Meanderings"
by xinerama

Now this is interesting, especially the first stanza. But why "unto"? Why not "at the point"?

How does a plural become an egalitarian? I liked the waxing and waning bit.

I'd like to see you build on this a little more -- you've got some promising material. I think with a bit of setting in place of the general "these journeys" your poem would be stronger and more meaningful.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: November 14, 2004 )

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