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8Capulet

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On barren rocks my soul will writhe
on endless bitter burning
Blackened in the heat of madness
boiling brains are steaming
Anger is the flint that strikes
the flame my spirit searing
Sin's the evil fuel now
that keeps the demon howling

Endless lifelessness and death
around the compass standing
Throughout the dark all I can see
is blackened lava brimming
This, the blood of burning souls
the brimstone pennance staining
Screams and silent horror now
the only life remaining

Death on death and hate on fear
writhing on the fire
Spirits on the spit like pigs
and spinning on the flames
Burning blackened souls in sin
are eaten through with tongues
that lick the victim morsel clean
remorseless glutton heat

Damned are damned, and all are damned
to blacken in hellfire
Blackened souls and blacker minds
that set us all to flame
Infamy has brought us here
to share the fate of devils
Endless death and morbid screams
that shriek through all of time

Can you know Damnation's pain
and feel the fire's hunger
It already tastes the flesh
and souls that come to feed it
Eternal bodies bruised on stone
and blackened in consumption
by the flames of countless passions
and the curse of Human sin

There is no escape from death
when soul from flesh is siphoned
There is no escape for him
that Azriel has summoned
You will burn in blackest flames
of satan's hungry hatred
Yet he cannot eat the deathless
souls of God's creation

------
The Alienist
jhfurnish@yahoo.com


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Comments

The following comments are for "Blackening"
by The Alienist

Blackening.........
Alienist,

You are fast becoming one of the people I look to for powerful poetry. This piece took me to the edge of the precipice!

Your poetry is some of the most powerful I have read and seems to be built on the strength of your convictions. I admire your passion and convistions, although I am not in tune with all of them. You must be an awesome teacher, and absolutely sure of your beliefs, for you will convince people that you are right.

Thank you again for a very good write,

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: November 13, 2004 )

Powerful imagery
Very dark, the mood carries quite well. Powerful word choices, with lots of rich alliteration. I lose the cadence of the piece every once and a while, and Satan should be capitalized. The only change I'd really suggest would be to remove an and to make the following lines:

Death on death and hate on fear
writhing on the fire
Spirits on the spit like pigs
spinning on the flames

to strengthen the parallel structure. Overall my favourite work by you so far.

( Posted by: capulet [Member] On: November 13, 2004 )

Ugh.
satan isn't capitalized because I downplay him, since he sucks.

Would you criticize ee cummings for never capitalizing?

Grammar is less relevant in poetry, by God!!!

( Posted by: the alienist [Member] On: November 13, 2004 )

Ugh Ugh.
I would criticize anyone who didn't capitalize proper names, including Cummings.

Grammar is mother. Grammar is father. Grammar is life!

The parents of your students should all be given access to the wonderful material and advice you post on here. Maybe we should invite them to the writing forums and start a poll of some sort?

I hope you only teach poetry courses to your students, because I'd hate to think their overall language skills are left in your hands. I'd rather they learn your socio-anarchic ideologies than your writing conventions.

It's easier to convert someone to a different political ideology than it is to reteach them fundamental communication skills!

( Posted by: Capulet [Member] On: November 13, 2004 )

Everybody SING!!!
Aaah! So light and refreshing! "You will burn in
blackest flames of Satans hungry hatred". By golly
I just gotta do a little happy dance here,hold on a sec...o.k.,I'm back. Alienist,you're such a silly! I haven't had this much fun since the first
four volumes of "Faces of Death". What a delight-
ful romp. I laughed,I cried,I hurled pea soup. You
really tickled me pink with this one,man. Thanx for the ribbing.

( Posted by: metrozol [Member] On: December 9, 2004 )

bowels of hell
10 years on and still as gripping as the day you wrote it.

ivor

(Respect to the Poet with my grammar)





( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: January 7, 2015 )





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