Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
8.5

(2 votes)


RatingRated by
8Unknown
9Myth

You must login to vote

Padded Room
By: BrightDark1

Everything I want is like the sand beside the ocean.
When I grasp it,
I manage to hold on for a little while.
But then it slips in between my fingers,
And is there no more.
The people around me
Donít give a damn weather I live
Or die.
They make my life miserable
and so hard to bear.
Sometimes I feel
Suicide is my only way out.
But that would be surrender.
I donít want to give them the satisfaction
Of knowing how they change me.
On the outside I feel fine,
ON the inside I feel nothing
But pain, worry, dread, depression.
I wish I was strong and could get through it.
But since I am not
I must find other ways.
Now I sit in a padded room.
It may seem like a prison,
But to me it is paradise.
You see,
I found my way out.
It was by killing you.



Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Padded Room"
by brightdark1

Dark Humor
Brightdark1,

Now this may make me a sick and twisted individual, but I fould some dark humor in this piece. I hope this does not offend you, I mean you may have been trying to but a more serious light on it. Anyways, no matter how this story was suppose to be taken I liked it.

Later,
Dras

( Posted by: Drastine [Member] On: April 30, 2002 )

Pretty good
I'll take the middle ground and say it's a bit of a poetic-rant. How's that?

It's an emotional piece and the ending sneaks up on you, which are the good points.

I'd watch "weather" when you mean "whether." Hey, it happens to the best of us. I'm the worst with "your" and "you're." urgh!

Ultimately, literature's goal is to entertain--and in that regard you were successful.


Richard

( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: April 30, 2002 )

Interesting
I liked this poem quite a bit. I do view it simply as poetry because of the way it was arranged. To me, a rant is more of an explination, whereas i'm hoping this is fiction. But i like how some of the lines subtly tell a story in a piece that is mainly about emotion. Very well done.

( Posted by: E.G. Evans [Member] On: May 1, 2002 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: