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Dawn chorus singing
Myriad beautiful sounds
Birds' breakfast disputes

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Spudley Strikes Again
www.BadPuns.com
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Comments

The following comments are for "Morning Squabbles"
by Spudley

Spudders
Spudley needs to post more haikus! This is fun. Who would have dreamt up "Birds' breakfast disputes"? Spudley did, and it's brilliant!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: November 11, 2004 )

Lovely
That was beautiful, haiku is one of my favorite mediums of expression, and you executed it perfectly. Excellent work.

( Posted by: frenchie [Member] On: November 11, 2004 )

Crisp!
Nice job. I love it! Can smell the early morning in the writing. Wonderful, clean, and brilliant.

( Posted by: everybodyelsesgirl [Member] On: November 11, 2004 )

Thankyou all :)
Thanks for the comment everyone. Perhaps more praise than I deserve, but I enjoy getting it anyway ;-)

The irony is that I did literally dream it up; it's another of those poems that came to me in a semi-awake insomniac state. Not the time of day (nor the time of year!) that I'd expect to be thinking of birdsong. Don't know what made me think of it, but once it was in my head I had to get it written down before I could get back to sleep again.

As for the three-words-per-line thing: no, I'm afraid I didn't plan it that way. In fact, I had to juggle the words quite a lot to get them to fit the haiku form. I originally wanted the last line to be "Birds' breakfast bickering", which I still think is better imagery, but I couldn't get it to fit. And "Myriad" was definitely not my first choice of words for the second line either.

Still, for all that, it came out quite well, and I'm pleased with the end result. Thanks again for all the comments. :-)

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: November 11, 2004 )

Brave
I find the haiku form a very brave adventure for any poet, so few lines and such a word restriction does my head in, I have been into the more long winded stuff recently. It is done well however I think, I have a natural tenency to dislike them so high praise would be too much to ask I think. Oh and spud, I have some more stuff up on lit.org now and another on forums :P takr a peek :D.

( Posted by: one.true.lady.uk [Member] On: November 17, 2004 )





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