The following comments are for "Stuck." by IamMEdontTRYtoCHANGEit
Liked it, but....
No wasted words, Hillary, but the 4th line felt awkward.
Maybe 'I'll never show to you.' would be better?
Otherwise, excellent job, very claustrophobic feel (have I spelt that right?).
Paul the Ogg
I'm going to argue with you Claire (gasp, shock, horror). If Hillary's 'you' is a specific person, then keeping 'you' in is important, since 'you' is the direct target of her anger. If it's a general everybody as 'you' then fair enough. She also has a half-rhyme at the ends of lines 6 and 8, which works well, so why not have another departure from rhyming in lines 2 and 4?
Better get ready for incoming Clairtillery!
Paul the scared Ogg