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Day recedes. The moist,
Dark cloak of night
Is slowly drawn across
The spilt-milk sky.

A pale smear of moon,
Like a reflection of himself
In a sacrificial bog,
Hides in the frozen mist.

Dimly is lit the race
Of myriad drops of dew
Back to the place of their birth;
Back to their captivity.

Unhurried
They chase one another.
Deftly they return.
Crystal flux; blood of life.

With loving caresses
And soft embraces,
Drop by drop,
They imprison their captors.

Bedecked and bedazzled
The imprisoned shine,
Lifting armored limbs
In penance, pray.

Bejeweled and burdened
Under the weight of their treasure
The trees stand,
Crackling faintly in the wind.

The moon smiles grimly,
Sliding down.
Longing for the sun;
Her love shining in his face.

He sleeps.
And all is dark but for the stars,
Solemn witnesses from afar,
Fathers of all.

The laden trees bide,
Until their debt is paid.
The wind whispers,
'She is coming.'

Fierce and terrible is her raiment,
But quietly she comes.
The trees sway
Without wind.

With ecstasy
They present themselves to her
In their finest diamond attire,
Bowed in reverence.

She accepts their offering
And releases them from their bonds.
Promising spring,
And chasing her lover.



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Comments

The following comments are for "A Debt Paid"
by Philo

Clarie, Except my Apology
and please Accept my thanks. You are of course correct. I've looked at this 50 times. The sun's too sweet not to forgive.

Again, thanks for reading so careful and for your kind remarks.

What do you think of the title? I wasn't sure. Anyone? -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: November 10, 2004 )

title
the title is succinct, the release from bondage to unbridled freedom. maybe you could offer a more poignant one.. but this present one still retains the meaning of your poem nonetheless. *laughs* you should probably include this as a love note for your lady or something.

( Posted by: inundatedgrace [Member] On: November 11, 2004 )

If only my debts could be paid so well!
The title of the poem suits not only the “debt” - the former relationship of captivity among the elements - but more importantly your crafted lines enrich the layers of connotation to a greater “depth”. Well-done Philo.

( Posted by: poliArch [Member] On: November 11, 2004 )

Rationing Philo
I'm a sensitive girl and can only stand so much joy. So. You are now being rationed okay? I am going to have to read you in doses small enough for me handle. Again, with the beautiful words Philo. What can I say but thank you. huni.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: December 12, 2004 )

My Debt
Thank you all! The title stays. I'm glad you all liked it.

Windchime, thanks for noting the focus. I'm very interested in the mechanics behind what makes natural things so beautiful. How a myriad of events need to be coordinated just so to produce things we sometimes take for granted.

Huni, I think thats one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. Until the next time then. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: December 12, 2004 )

Can't say much
I would like to give you the support that you give with my writing. But you either have nothing wrong with your writing or I am no capable of seeing them. I can’t comment on any thing because I do not have the experience as a writer good poem I will have to read more of your work

Poetfreak

( Posted by: poetfreak [Member] On: January 25, 2005 )

A Debt Paid
Philo,

What an amazing job you do at picking your words. Your descriptions take the reader in to your words. Another beautiful piece of work. I love it!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: January 26, 2005 )

Indebted
Thanks Nae, that was a nice thing to say, that you were taken into the words.

And I'm thrilled that you've taken the time to look up some of my stuff. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: January 26, 2005 )

poetfreak debt
Thanks for stopping in poetfreak and I'm glad I was able to help in some way. Please don't let your experience as a poet stop you from commenting on what you think, or even if you have a question. I'm happy to respond as I think most people here are.

BTW, you didn't say if you liked this or not. -Philo

( Posted by: philo [Member] On: January 27, 2005 )

.
I'm interested in the narrative nature of your poetry-- I don't think I've ever written in anything but first person. I used to think that first person pov created intimacy, but you have absolutely proved me wrong. This piece has a stunning intimacy, and it's filled with a mystic nature. I read it and I feel like I've freeze-framed a scene of A Midsummer Night's Dream. I love it.

( Posted by: shefallssoftly [Member] On: February 18, 2005 )

High Praise
indeed, if I made a talented poet think twice about narrative poetry. Does this mean you'll try it? I'll keep an eye out.

Thanks for reading so carefully and for your thoughts on this.I'm glad you liked it. -Philo

( Posted by: philo [Member] On: February 18, 2005 )

Retake

I came back to this post I have already read and commented once but I have read it this second time. And I absolutely love it the language you use to describe things and the writing is great. Thanks for the post keep up the good work.

PoetFreak


( Posted by: poetfreak [Member] On: March 15, 2005 )

Brilliant
No other word can do justice,
Sean Micheals

( Posted by: SeanMicheals [Member] On: April 15, 2005 )

Thank you kindly
Poetfreak, I'm glad you stopped back to let me know how you feel and I'm glad you liked it. My favorite poems are those where the language is natural sounding and the vocabulary isn't over- or under-wrought. I'm glad you picked up on that here. I still have trouble finding the balance but this one seemed to come together for me there.

Sean Micheals, I thank you for your gracious words. I'm glad you stopped to read and comment. Its nice to visit an older piece and see that its enjoyed. Cheers. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: April 15, 2005 )





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