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Standing on the Cliff where you stood before me one year to the day
when my soul died .
Your face haunts my dreams.In my dreams you are beside me.
But as mind awakens and Awareness takes me you drift away again.

Why did you leave me? Why did you feel you needed to go?

My heart is torn and tattered in two, You were my soul and all of my dreams.
I am now a shell so empty inside. As i drift through this existince knowing no joy.
How can i live without you beside me .My live is only pain and nothing but sorrow.

Why did you leave me ? Why did you leave me to live this lie?

As you stood on this cliff what were you thinking .Why Did you leave me so?.
Our lifes where begining and we were so happy .
I remember the day i knew you were mine. My joy has gone know and I see on darkness.

Why did you leave me? what drove you to say goodbye?

I remember the call and the chill fill inside me. I remember the fear and the tear released.
All that we worked for and all that strove for was taken away by that one simple call.
Why did you think you had the right to kill me too.

Why did you leave me ? why did you take our child still inside

So as I stand on the cliff where you did a year before a year to the day that my world died.
Theres nothing inside me and no words can help me. I cannot live without you I need you beside me.
I step from the cliff and as my world Tumbles back to you.

Theres nothing left for me here.But to say goodbye

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The following comments are for "Time to say goodbye part 1"
by Yano

Yano Goodbye P1
You've got some techincal difficulties in your poem that if cleaned up may help to dilever you message moe powerfully. Typos that range from space before periods, to no space after periods, to misused words, e.g., 'live' instead of 'life', 'on' instead of 'only' and some misspellings.

Other than that, I think the phrase 'Why did you leave me?' or its equivilent shows up a little too often.

Like I said, you have a strong message and a heart wrenching story (the prenancy was shock) and IO think this could be further developed. Hope this helps. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: November 10, 2004 )

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