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10JimmyAndHisRock..
10supergranny

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(this isn't finished- i just wanted to post something)

I'll sew your lips together with a strand of my hair
So you can never kiss another girl
Without making a tear
Everything in love is fair.
Everything in love is fair.

I've wished away on every star
And wasted every night gazing at the sky
Love stings with broken wings
How easily it can lie
And die.
And die.

Why'd you leave my stars looking so bright
When you knew we wouldn't make it to daylight
I'll kiss you once before I say goodbye
And blow you away up to the sky
Two things you made me detest
I will lay to rest.

You've failed to impress.



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Comments

The following comments are for "broken daylight"
by forlackofabettername

broken daylight
dude! this is an awesome start!...
"I'll sew your lips together with a strand of my hair
So you can never kiss another girl
Without making a tear
Everything in love is fair.
Everything in love is fair." !!
YES! I LOVE IT!

( Posted by: supergranny [Member] On: November 9, 2004 )

good start
hey, i like this piece a lot. it is a really good start...do us all a favor and finish it. I really liked this stanza:

"Why'd you leave my stars looking so bright
When you knew we wouldn't make it to daylight
I'll kiss you once before I say goodbye
And blow you away up to the sky
Two things you made me detest
I will lay to rest."

good work

jimmy g.

( Posted by: JimmyAndHisRocket [Member] On: November 9, 2004 )

Something
This is a nice start to a song. It seams that has some deep meaning to you...which is a good thing. I enjoyed reading it and would like to see the rest.

( Posted by: CheddyAndNorris [Member] On: November 9, 2004 )

Strand of Hair
The first stanza is brilliant. I really love it. Keep it up and keep us 'posted'!

GG

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: November 9, 2004 )

first stanza
it is great. The following stanzas should have more humph.

A general suggestion to lyrics writers is to give some kind of idea of the ype of music this should be set to.

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: November 9, 2004 )

thanks
Thanks to all who left comments..they're encouraging and I'll make sure to finish it..it just hasn't quite come to me yet, but I will update it once it does. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but since the comments were good, I guess it's worth finishing. Thanks!

( Posted by: ForLackofaBetterName [Member] On: November 9, 2004 )





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