(Capulet’s head starts spinning. Slowly, a moustache and tacky hair cut form on his head. You realize he’s been possessed by Hitler! Oh no!)
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Begrüßungen all you idioten! I’ve been sitting under Berlin, floating around my formaldehyde tank, reading the posts on this site, and I have to say I’m not impressed! You whiiiiiiiiine about this, you schreiiiiiii about that! But there’s one thing above all else that really gets my nabel in a knot:
Every time you wan’t to make someone look evil you say “Oh well Hitler thought the same”, or “that sounds like something Hitler would support!”
Mein Gott! Do you know how MÜDE I am of people saying what I’d do or say??? I spent DECADES building up my rep, and I really don’t Monday Morgen Quarterbacks trying to guess what I would and wouldn’t back.
I couldn’t really give a fluch about things like “race”, and “religion” and power for the German people; I’ve found a new purpose in life!
I’ve been watching the Dave Chappelle show, and that guy’s got some funny scheiße on his show! I haven’t laughed that hard since Eva farted and her stockings split! I’ve been trying to get on as a writer on his show, but “floating head responsible for the death of millions” doesn’t look good on a resume.
Stop saying “Hitler this and Hitler that” or “Hitler said that too!” I’m tired of it! If you want to know what the big H really thinks? Wait until I go on my 2013 spoken word tour with Rush Limbaugh; until then, stick to what you know, stummer esel.
Signatures are lame. Oops!