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(Capulet’s head starts spinning. Slowly, a moustache and tacky hair cut form on his head. You realize he’s been possessed by Hitler! Oh no!)

Begrüßungen all you idioten! I’ve been sitting under Berlin, floating around my formaldehyde tank, reading the posts on this site, and I have to say I’m not impressed! You whiiiiiiiiine about this, you schreiiiiiii about that! But there’s one thing above all else that really gets my nabel in a knot:

Every time you wan’t to make someone look evil you say “Oh well Hitler thought the same”, or “that sounds like something Hitler would support!”

Mein Gott! Do you know how MÜDE I am of people saying what I’d do or say??? I spent DECADES building up my rep, and I really don’t Monday Morgen Quarterbacks trying to guess what I would and wouldn’t back.

I couldn’t really give a fluch about things like “race”, and “religion” and power for the German people; I’ve found a new purpose in life!

I’ve been watching the Dave Chappelle show, and that guy’s got some funny scheiße on his show! I haven’t laughed that hard since Eva farted and her stockings split! I’ve been trying to get on as a writer on his show, but “floating head responsible for the death of millions” doesn’t look good on a resume.

Oh well.

Stop saying “Hitler this and Hitler that” or “Hitler said that too!” I’m tired of it! If you want to know what the big H really thinks? Wait until I go on my 2013 spoken word tour with Rush Limbaugh; until then, stick to what you know, stummer esel.


------
Signatures are lame. Oops!



Comments

The following comments are for "Ich bin eine!"
by Capulet

Yee Haaa!
Capulet, I salute you, left handed, of course. This is excellent and funny. Okay - I agree that a 'Hitler name-dropping low tolerance zone' should be declared. Stalin, Nero, Napoleon, Mussolini, Ghengis Khan, Tiberius, Margaret Thatcher, Alec Frommpelbocker (I used to work for him at Tesco supermarket) - plenty of usable names to invoke. Only the last two had one of those funny little moustaches.
Good one - we are not worthy etc. Noteworthy maybe.
You take care
Paul the Ogg

( Posted by: ogg [Member] On: November 10, 2004 )

Wunderbar!
Wonderful! I've waited so long to hear what Big Papa H thought about this irritating trend, and I'm glad he agrees with me. The "Hitler Stamp of Disapproval" is so bloody overused that we should declare a moratorium on it here at Lit. How about it?

As Ogg mentioned, we have so many other evildoers to choose from. We live in the age of George W. Bush, for Christ's sake!

So from now on, let's just say, "That's sounds like something Shrub would support," or "Shrub would agree with you".

Brrrr. I'm getting shudders already.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: November 10, 2004 )

Nazi Rules!


Ya!

Giff them heil!

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 11, 2004 )

Ich bin eine dumkoff!


Ja, not "Ya"?

Oopsen!

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 11, 2004 )

ha ha!
I completely forgot I wrote this in the span of like a day! Thanks for all the positive hype. =) And yes I am the "Rules Nazi"!!! Not that I'm above making mistakes, but I'm just as hard on myself when I find them! Die errors die!!

(That's "Thee errors, thee")

( Posted by: capulet [Member] On: November 13, 2004 )





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