Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

autumn dived into springtime's passing with winter arriving on the very cusp of decay. a pair of hands laid before me, limp and frostbitten on the whitewashed snow, speaking of dreams louder than a war horn's regal cry. i watched a puff of hot air escape your lips, dispersing into a trail of vagrant tendrils, evanescent. knowing it was your last breath, i bit mine to stifle the cacophonous silence, as if also to bid you a tacit goodbye. yet the flashback of your childlike laughter clung onto my ankles like fallen naked branches. as i knelt with knees pressed into the yielding snow, i pulled my frozen fingers over your wistful eyes, praying that hollow rhythms would revive you. in your new robe of weightlessness, your spirit is endless.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "pseudo-poetic melancholy?"
by inundatedgrace

Beautiful language
I wouldn't say pseudo-poem here, some may disagree but I'd say this is prose and therefor is certainly a poem. But as the writer, I think its completely up to you.

As a reader I'm very satified. 'new robe of weightlessness' is a great phrase. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: November 8, 2004 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: