Spring
by frenchie (Member) - published: November 7, 2004
Word Count: 13 Word Bytes: 84 Viewed: 493 times
Category - Haiku
© Copyright by frenchie

8.5

(2 votes)

Rating	Rated by

8	SnakeEyes

9	windchime

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The world seems frozen
A crocus peeks through the snow
A new beginning

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I've been trying to change my avatar for four years...

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Comments

The following comments are for "Spring"
by frenchie

spring
I just saw this, and I like it. I'm taking the liberty of imagining this crocus as purple. Please say it's purple, and not yellow, or, ugh, white, peeking through the snow... With the world seeming frozen, I think the crocus needs a cold colour...

( Posted by: windchime [Member] On: November 11, 2004 )

Purple
Oh, the crocus is definately purple. I really can't imagine it any other color....expecially yellow....ugh. I'm glad you liked it.

( Posted by: frenchie [Member] On: November 11, 2004 )

Spring Haiku
The elements of real Haiku are there. Strong imagery, correct format, however; perhaps a change with the "A" of the second line and starting the third line with "A". Although it works as it is fine, a definte conveying of the flower on the backdrop of snow. Stark. That is the magic glimpse of Haiku. Good job,..Snake-Eyes

( Posted by: SnakeEyes [Member] On: January 14, 2005 )

Nice
Excellently said! ANd how present, and willfully impending...

( Posted by: webguy [Member] On: February 27, 2005 )

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