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Average Rating
8.5

(2 votes)


RatingRated by
9Demeter
8Viper9

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I got my first date in 5 years,
Usually they池e turned off,
By my bashing of queers,
When I try to contact them,
They池e reduced to tears,


The things we could do culminate in my mind,
Beating the old or tripping the blind,
Stealing from the vagrants and the homeless,


My idea of fun is not quite like you others,
Stabbing my uncle or my mothers brothers,
People think I知 kinda crazy,
So what if derive joy from anothers pain,
You call me crazy or you call me insane,
So I知 gonna have to strangle a puppy,


She got a restraining order on me,
So I知 outside sitting in a tree,
Bought the best binoculars I could find,
I think an alien is invading my mind,
I take a swing and begin to fall,
Luckily the tree is not to tall,
My sternums bleeding and I知 in a rut,
I thought she came to help but she kicked me in the gut,


My idea of fun is not quite like you others,
Stabbing my uncle or my mothers brothers,
People think I知 kinda crazy,
So what if derive joy from anothers pain,
You call me crazy or you call me insane,
So I知 gonna have to strangle a puppy,

------
Preserve Nature, Pickle a squirrel.



Comments

The following comments are for "Strangling a puppy"
by Alec

(moment of silence)
i don't really know quite to make of that, some inner rymes usually help flow a little, your def mad weird though, that's for sure

( Posted by: IlichVladikov [Member] On: November 8, 2004 )

Damn puppies
You know, on a technical level, this has problems. Uneven rhythm, a couple of tortured rhymes, misspellings, etc. BUT . . .

It's so damn funny I had to give it an 8! It's hilarious stuff, and I hope to read more of your work.

Read my "Lightning Hooks Cubes" and "The Point Is" -- I feel as though we've been separated at birth!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: November 8, 2004 )

O that Title!
I had to read it. For the same reason that people slow down on the highway to see an accident. I'm not comparing your poem to a car crash, its the subject matter thats a little gruesome and hateful. But sadly I suppose its truthful for some.

Anyway, if you're going for an emotional response, I guess that worked. I'm not wild about the repeated stanza, seems like with a little more effort you could shine this one up a bit. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: November 8, 2004 )





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