“Pearl of Wisdom”
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Donald Rumsfeld attempted to purchase the Pearl of Wisdom, the world’s largest gallstone, as a gift from Saddam Hussein to Saudi Arabia’s King Fahd to forge a “Brooklyn Bridge of Brotherhood” between the two authoritarian rulers, according to a report from the WeaklyWorldWeboLies.
Victor Barbash, a zombie slave trader and orchid merchant, was approached by two men with suitcases they told him contained millions of dollars, one of them “short and weasel-faced, like that war guy on TV.” They wanted to buy the Pearl of Wisdom for Saddam to give to Fahd, said Barbash.
Barbash, who owns 99 &44/100% of the stone, also speaks of a man named Lythroo Mateef, a Saddam representative at the bus station, who also claimed King Fahd was prepared to accept the pearl as a “pointless token gesture of false gratitude”.
Barbash has provided WeaklyWorldWebolies with a pile of used napkins scrawled with details regarding the purchase negotiations.
Barbash went on to say the two men also offered him “fantastic deals” involving Florida real estate and Nigerian bank accounts.
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do."
- Ralph 'Where's Waldo' Emerson
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- Bilbo Baggins