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Falling, through drafting winds...
Alone, cold and dying,
Unnaccepted by seasons change,
As it's mother is crying.
We all need to grow up soon,
And eventually to leave home.
Some of us are unprepared,
But I know I have grown.
I'll miss the winds little kiss,
The embrace from my brothers,
I know i'll never come back,
And I know I'm like no other.
Through everything I feel now,
And everywhere I will go,
I'll give my best and give it all,
To let my colours show.


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The following comments are for "Original"
by EndlessFear

no fear Trevor
I like this poem Trevor. It is the first of yours that feels like hope. Hope is one of my favourite things - that and packages tied up.... sorry, couldn't resist that!
Really though this is a real poem. Line six would have even better rhythm if you left out the "to". Third last line try - 'And everywhere I go'. You don't have to, just see what you think. it's your work not mine, I just like this one is all. You have already done well in your first three lines. Not a word wasted and nice and tight. Keep it up Trevor, I look forward to reading more of you. regards huni.

( Posted by: huni [Member] On: December 4, 2004 )

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