The Tales of Venus the World-Maker
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‘Today was an awesome day!’ Charlie thought as she finished her latest sci-fi novel. She tossed it affectionately on to her bean bag chair in the corner as she folded her arms behind her head and stared at her bedroom ceiling. She lived to read. Books of any kind were good, but sci-fi was her favorite; she loved to put herself in the place of the characters and pretend what it would be like to be them. It was a good escape.
She got to have a civil lunch with her little sister Irene earlier that day. Even though all she did was play her video game and eat the half of sub that Charlie had brought her. She had a productive second period with her older sister Marin; they were in an art portfolio class together, though they weren’t in the same grade. She even woke up to an alright song that morning. Something by 3 doors down maybe, but she wasn’t sure.
She was looking forward to next Wednesday when she would go and finally meet her biological father Sean Rebellem. One more week to go! She was a little nervous but who wasn’t before meeting their parents? Or parent in this case.
Charlie was the only step child in a family of five. She had recently moved into a youth home after her step-mother had fell in love and married an un-convicted pedophile. He had expected her to conform to him and be his little whore just because she was diddled by her mother’s previous boyfriend, what an asshole.
She pushed these thoughts away. Tomorrow was so going to be a great day! She was going to get to design tech a little early so she could get her house project finished. Then she was going to finish her last picture in the first half of her sketch book and hand it in to Mrs. Zack. She would eat a GOOD and HEALTHY lunch. Charlie giggled at that. It was totally unlike her to eat anything healthy unless it wasn’t the colour green! She made a face. She hated the colour green. It reminded her of the texture of peas, all grainy and so like eating sand. Y U C K!
Her thoughts weaved in and out as her bedroom ceiling faded, being replaced by less than happy images. Some were things that didn’t go together, like her step-mother wearing a bowl of soup inverted on her head as a hat. She was dragging Charlie through a room full of sand. The sand turned into a massive blob of undistinguishable origin. It morphed into a form of her step-mother’s new husband, she felt fear he was coming after her! He was going to attack her again! She was confused, this must be her fault. But that wasn’t right! She couldn’t control his actions! He turned toward a beautiful stream, just a little trickling thing with minnows and little delicate plants. There were trees growing along the banks, they looked happy, not all root bound like the ones in the city where she lived. She felt like he was threatening these beautiful things merely with his presence. She had to protect them! Suddenly the leaves on the tree nearest her started to shrivel. She panicked and looked around to find the cause to help these beautiful things- the little fish were floating to the top of the stream, they smelled like they were rotting already! No! Then she spied her step-father. He was spewing some disgusting purple-brown ooze from his mouth that was turning the water into poison! ‘Stop! No, you’re killing everything!’ She tried to yell but she wasn't making a sound. She had to stop him! She tried to move but her feet were rooted to the ground. Her arms were being held over her head by some invisible force. Her sight changed, she could still tell what was going on but she couldn't actually see anything. Fear welled up inside her until there wasn't room for anything else, until she started to feel dim. Then she felt suffocated! The fear gripped her harder in its ugly fist. She was being poisoned by the river just like the other trees. She felt her step-father look for her; he had realized that she wasn't there anymore. Then to her utter horror he began to change. He wasn't ugly, he wasn't even plane looking anymore, he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. But there was something familiar about him, his nose was turned up at the end and was slightly heart-shaped, nobody else in her family had a nose like that. His eyes were a deep shade of brown, framed by thick lashes, just like hers. This monstrosity was her real father! 'You don't have to wait until tomorrow Charlie' she herd him speak, though she no longer had ears. She felt him stepping closer to her 'I think it's time for you and I to get to know each other my sweet, young, little daughter. I’ve never had a daughter before Charlie,' he said drawling the words out in an evil, yet high class kind of way. She heard a loud zipping noise and she tried again so hard to run but she just couldn't budge. She fainted then, but not before she felt his pants hit the poisoned soaked ground just above her roots.
Charlie woke up screaming! There was a cold sweat running over her entire body. She grabbed her Charla bear and hugged it tight and rocked hysterically back and forth. Even though she was almost 16 years old she still drew comfort from the old teddy bear. She had got it given to her as a small child from a candy-stripe girl who thought she was a very cute child, even though she was badly malnourished, which was why she had been in the hospital in the first place. ‘Ok that’s enough of that!’ Charlie thought as she pushed herself off her bed. ‘It was only a dream and dreams can’t hurt me!’ no, but they can foretell the future, said a soft voice. It sounded as if it came from very far away. “Who was that?!” Charlie looked around her room cautiously. She was on occasion afraid of her dreams, but there was no way in hell she would be afraid of someone playing a prank on her, whether they were real or not. She walked angrily over to the small desk that was on the other side of her room and sat on the stool. She took a small blue book with little red butterflies embroidered on its fabric cover and pulled out her red pen she reserved only for that book. She opened it to a page close to the back and started to write down everything she could remember about the dream and about the voice she herd. There was no way that she was going to be scared into what others wanted her to do, not ever again! She made herself remember even the smallest details, even the ones that seemed insignificant. She pulled out a very large book from the bottom drawer of her desk and started to look up what each thing meant she wrote them down as she found them. When she was finished she looked down at the words and her eyes blurred. She rubbed them gently with the tips of her fingers and looked over at the clock. 6:38 am. She thought maybe she should go back to sleep but she would have to get up again in twenty minutes anyway. ‘I’ll have a shower.’ she thought. ‘Then some mint tea.’ She smiled to herself, she was feeling better already. She grabbed up her towel and housecoat and walked silently to the bathroom to begin the last week that she would have no real family.
She wakes up alone. She can’t see anything, but she can feel faint warmth emulating from all around her. She can also feel a constant pulsing vibration, it’s strangely comforting. There is a sense that she has done this before, has been in this situation many times, but this time is somehow different…it takes her a while to clear her thoughts enough for her mind to function, the warmth and the pulse is making her sleepy and relaxed. She searches her mind for what she knows should be there, her name, where she comes from, what species she is, even her favorite colour. She feels a sharp fear shoot through her. “I don’t remember anything!” she thinks. “Where am I? Who am I? What am I doing here? Where or WHAT is here?” she tried to reach out and realized something scared her more that she had ever been scared, “Where is my body?! I have no body, I don’t know who I am, where am I, why am I here, am I dead? What happens next, can’t see anything, can’t feel anything, there is nothing here, I am nothing, am I nothing? What’s happening to me? All I can feel is that insistent pulsing around me, what the fuck is that vibration any way,” she could feel herself start to hyperventilate as her emotions grow wild “I have no lungs where is this feeling coming from,” silently she screams, the panic of not knowing what is to happen to her finally taking over. She feints.
Slowly she came to, she remembered some bad feelings but she couldn't remember what made her panic. She tried to look around and found that she couldn't see anything. Then it all came flooding back and she felt herself start to panic again. “Stop that” she told herself. “That isn’t going to solve anything.” She forced herself to take a deep breath and suddenly realized that she HAS lungs! It felt like she’s breathing liquid though. She decides to trust it and go with that even though she thought air might be better. She could now make out a faint glow around her. “That wasn’t here before. I wonder where it's coming from.” She tried to reach out to see if she can feel anything. Pushing away the starting surge of panic she calmed herself again. "Okay...okay, so I don't have any arms, that’s ok, there's no need to panic about it. I still... exist at least. I'm conscious, and I KNOW that I'm breathing," she stopped and forced herself to concentrate on her breath, yes it was still there. "Yes I'm still breathing." she looked around again and the dim light hadn’t changed, but there was something different about it. It kind of looked as if the light that she was seeing was made up of lots of little particles of light. She looked closer and found that she was right; they were little particles of light. "Where AM I?" she thought.
"You're with me, I suppose."
"Whoa!" she thought as she searched around for the voice. "Who said that? Where are you?"
"I said that, though I don't know who I am, and I'm not quite sure where I am either."
The Voice was not scary in the least bit to her. In fact she felt better having herd it. It was as comforting as the steady beat that she had felt since she woke up in this place. "What do you see that might help" she said looking around, maybe she had missed something, if she looked hard enough she could find where the Voice was coming from. All she could see was light.
"I'm seeing two different things. It’s kind of confusing."
That’s ok; I've been confused since I got here. Just describe what you see, maybe I can tell you what... wait a minute, I can't remember anything from before I came here. Well maybe... ya maybe I can help you any way."
"All I can see on one side is blackness with some little white dots. On the other side I can see a little green and blue mist, no it's not a mist, it's a... I don't know, a... blob? Well I guess not a blob, but a greenish blue mass of something. It doesn’t look the same all the way around.”
“Can you can see it from all angles?” she asked
“Hay! Your sound just came from the blob! That must be you!”
“I’m green?” she asked in a mildly annoyed voice.
“What’s wrong? Why don’t you sound happy?”
“I’m not sure that I like the colour green.” She felt excitement well up inside herself at that realization. “I remember something! I hate the colour green!”
“What a thing to remember!” the Voice sounded amused. “Humm… if you are the greenish blue thing, and I can see it from all different angles- look around, what do you see is there anything surrounding you?”
“Ya, there is! But I can’t really focus on it. At first I thought it was a mist, but it was a lot of little points of light. They seem bunchier now, like they are closer together. It is all around me.” She stopped and giggled. “I hope you like the colour yellow; your voice feels like it’s coming from everywhere so that must be you! At least we know that we have bodies now!” she saw the light around her turn a golden brown, her friend looked happy.
“Yes it is comforting to know that we have bodies. Where are we though? Who are we and where did we come from? We still don’t know the answer to those questions.” The light looked a little dimmer now but it still looked happy to her.
“Maybe if we keep talking to each other we can find the answers. Look at what we have found out so far! We should compare experiences and we can analyze them.”
“That’s a good idea. You go first. What have you felt since being here?”
She thought to herself, considering what had happened to her so far. “I’ve felt a lot of fear. And when ever I herd you speak the first time I was startled but I wasn’t afraid any more. Actually I felt as if something was sliding into place, and I felt comforted.” She paused a moment, she had felt like she had found the other half of herself when she had herd the voice. “I felt like the divine breast had been offered and I had found my mother.”
“I’m not your mother though,” The Voice wasn’t angry, just mildly amused. “But I know that feeling. I felt it when I felt the gentile pulsing that I feel flowing through me from the inside out, and then again when I herd your voice the first time.” They fell silent for a few moments assimilating all that they had just experienced. It was a lot to have gone through and they felt drained by it.
“We should rest now; we need to understand what just happened here and what we should do next.”
“Yes, you’re right.” The Voice agreed.
The Voice stopped talking and she felt that it slept. She wondered to herself just why they were there, what they were supposed to accomplish. They both could remember little, and everything was so intense. They had already figured out where they were in relation to each other, that she was greenish blue in colour and the Voice was a golden yellow, sometimes brown. Her thoughts hummed as she drifted off to sleep, for the second time in this confusing place.
Gently and slowly she woke. Something had enveloped her while she was sleeping. Something was holding her, she was squished into a ball and it was mildly uncomfortable. “Where am I?” she thought “Where is my friend?! I’m alone again!”
“Shhh,” the Voice comforted her. “Just because you can't hear me doesn’t mean that I’m not with you. I woke up before you, that’s all. I think that I have changed again. I feel more fixed, and I feel more stable too. I can’t really see you any more though, but I feel you and I know where you are.”
“It sounds as if you are growing into a planet to me.” She said. She felt her friend grow happy around her, but wasn’t sure why. “What’s with the mood change?” she asked.
“You just spoke out loud.”
She paused a moment. “I just spoke aloud,” she repeated. She felt herself practally vibrate with joy. She tried to stretch her misty body out to see if she could touch anything now and found she could touch her friend. "But I feel kind of cramped." she smiled inwardly and giggled. "Just how am I going to get out of the middle of you?"
The Voice giggled. "Maybe you should concentrate. I've seen you change colours slightly as your moods change. Since that is an UNCOUNCIOUS action maybe you can change it her things about you when it is a conscious thing."
she thought about this for a moment and decided to try. She cleared what senses she had realized she had and thought only of being out of her friend's confining embrace.
"It's not working..." she said as she started to focus on the things around her again.
"Where are you!" she squeaked.
"I'm here." The Voice told her. "You are on the outside of me now and I can see you again."
She calmed down having herd her friend's voice.
"What do you mean you can see me again?"
"When we woke up I could no longer see you. I couldn't even place you until you woke and called out."
"Why didn't you tell me?" she was only mildly annoyed.
"It didn't seem relevant at the time." The Voice said dully.