Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

Outswallowed Trajectories

Electricity arcs in leaps of eight
Much the way words formed in hate
Know only a nova’s limitations
So upon the spark of irritation
We two may purge (oh, pluck my strings)
This flaring surge (oh, pluck my strings)
Until, extinguished, we collapse
Black holes indrinking with vengeance
Any evidence of future crimes
Into gaping eyes now jealousy-steeled and
Wholly spent of heat or light

"All the darkness in the world
cannot put out the light
of one candle"

Related Items


The following comments are for "Outswallowed Trajectories"
by hazelfaern

Outswallowed, indrinking
I'm more of a wading, paddling around the surface kind of guy and I don't write the deeper stuff like this. But now and then a poem like this pulls my head under and I get a glimpse, and when I come back up, sputtering and blinking, to the surface, I'm amazed by what I saw.

I may not understand this but I'm fascinated, enthralled! Indrinking black holes! Fantastic! I'm starting to gush...gotta go. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: October 29, 2004 )

This rocks! I love it. It's as jumpy as the topic. I like (oh, pluck my strings!). Very good, and cool. Thanks!


( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: November 9, 2004 )

ABBA the flight.
The rhythm strides so uniquely AABB that when I get to the last four lines I feel like something is missing.

Or I don't understand the freedom of your flight?


( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: November 9, 2004 )

Play it again!
I like the strain your melody invokes! This was exquisite...I love this sort of poetry, no need for serious inquiry, just pure emotion drowned in commotion.
Them's fightin' words!

( Posted by: scryer [Member] On: November 21, 2004 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.