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10Demeter
9edwinpadillo
10GibsonGirl

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I am locked in the bend
of my lover-night's embrace;
my wings without
the starshine's caresses
are now drooping,
feathers mutely joining the dead
in their grave
dark like ink.
My spirit being tied upon
the twilight edge of sleep
and conscious
would not rejoin
the butterflies' dreams;
he is to stay here
to be weary and pained
walking in and out of oblivion's door.

I await the morn
whither I am the king of my soul.
I despise this night my lover
who rules my hands and flesh
robbing me of serenity.


------
*************************************
crystal face I kiss
tongue tastes like sweet cold rain
I fall into pond




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Comments

The following comments are for "Locked In the Bend"
by peterpaulino

Freaky...
I just wrote something in this vein, but perfectly opposite! I need the night, and loathe the morn.

However, hourly tastes aside, this is as beautiful as anything I've read of your work. I like the structure. It lends itself to rhyme, but you've dodged the scheme and lent it new beauty.

Fine work!

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: October 26, 2004 )

Beautiful
Very nice work, Peter! I always admire your poetry. I wish I could compare your works to each other but each just has a beauty of their own that it is too selfish to do so. Keep them coming, Peter! Thanks for the great read.

( Posted by: lasher [Member] On: October 26, 2004 )

HI
Jess? Claire? Bart? To whoever is validating my comments, thank you for accompanying me :) But hey, please don't show this comment, please delete, just want to say hi. :)

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: October 27, 2004 )

Lucie, GG, Lasher
Thank you very much for reading this. :)

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: October 27, 2004 )

evocative
Hi Peter,
There is a very open soaring feel here of hope. Windchime mentioned that line which I agree is a standout. Always a pleasure to read your artistic bent.
cheers
smithy

( Posted by: smithy [Member] On: October 27, 2004 )

Mick
You know that I feel my poem becomes truly great with your comments. Thank you for reading. :) Cheers, Peter

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: October 28, 2004 )

butterfly dreams
Sorry I gorgot to read your stuff. I need this sort of poetry refreshment, as I am stuck between the flash and the haiku states of mind.

I don't think it is freaky. It is stimulating.

Regards
T.

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: November 1, 2004 )





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