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Six and a half months. Seems like only yestersday. Seems like a lifetime. Does it ever start taking on the guise of 'real' or does it always resemble a hazeóneither all here, nor all there?

The kids are still in limbo. They've accepted the new schedule, but not the new life. The little one asks when you'll be home in a moment of fatigue, then corrects herself and sadly whispers, 'I forgot, he's never going to come home.'

I look with new eyes upon couples who have reached the major milestones in their marriages. No longer should 25 or 50 years be celebrated with such pittiance as silver or gold. Parades should form in the streets and the couple lifted upon the shoulders of the community and revered. They are not always happy marriages at that stage, but they are partnerships that have endured beyond all expectation.

Now, the holidays loom. What I once thought was going to be difficult, now becomes impossible, as we rob our children's holiday memories. This season, will be the Thanksgiving 'after', the Christmas 'after'. No longer will their family around the table be taken for granted. Now one place will be empty. And it will be that empty place that haunts them. We leave that to them. We leave to our children the emptiness.

How can we live with ourselves for inflicting such horror upon the innocent? Shame on us.


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The following comments are for "1024"
by nameless

At least it is true,
wishing it could all be a dream/nightmare from which you and the children could wake up from.

I think it is better that the truth is there right at you. Rather than what I have, as so many other women and men have.

I wear a costumed life, the wife of 27 years. No we are not even the best of friends. Betrayals steal that away too.

I am grieving before I should, as you are. At least you have a place for foundation now, and yes you must go on with his decisions.

Better to be independant and unhappily so. Much better than to be independant and very lonely with another heartbeat in the house. Living with a stranger, it is a bitter exhistance that I refuse to say I am totally at fault for.

I walk into tomorrow knowing this too shall pass, it's just getting there that wears my frail hope even thinner.

Thank you for sharing this with us my friend. You know I wish you the best as I have always stated to you...
Darlene

( Posted by: dareva [Member] On: October 24, 2004 )

rare
In rare cases, divorce is inflicted for reasons of safety, a legitimate need to escape abuse.

But in most cases, it seems, divorce is just a way for the lazy to throw in the towel. It's a convenience. And its effect on the children -- victimized in these instances by their parents' unwillingness to solve a problem rather than run away -- isn't taken into account at all.

You've expressed yourself well. Your recognition of the new benchmark -- the Christmas after, etc. -- is insightful.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: October 24, 2004 )





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