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9.25

(4 votes)


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8chapter1
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10JEANNIE45
9Nitz Kitty

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Clutch at tangled sheets
praying in throaty whispers
shudder, say my name.

------
Smile if you're stupid,
laugh if you understand.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Shudder"
by Bartleby

I like
powerful, good use of the form. I notice you like haiku. This is my fav one so far.

( Posted by: malthis [Member] On: October 21, 2004 )

Seductive
I haven't seen haiku used in such an erotic fashion, but somehow it works rather well. Good structure and word play.

( Posted by: TheGadfly [Member] On: October 21, 2004 )

Shudder
For me not being a Haiku fan, it is obvious this one is good. Even I enjoyed it. I wonder why, ahem... You're on a roll Bart. Jess must be some muse.

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: October 21, 2004 )

Shudder
This is a wonderful sensual Haiku...I think I remember what that feels like...now I just shudder cause I'm cold...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: October 21, 2004 )

wowza Bart
I bow to the king of haiku!...ok maybe that's going a bit far. but damn Bart, this is one awesomely seductive, and brilliantly written haiku....my hat's off to you...very well done indeed!
Reba

( Posted by: Reba [Member] On: October 21, 2004 )

deja vu!
Oh dear, I believe I'm blushing! Good job, I wish I could had thought to express this so honestly and beautifully.

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: December 6, 2004 )

blush
there is something entrancing about your haikus.

( Posted by: snuffystuff [Member] On: March 21, 2005 )





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