Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(3 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

brine and pure fight for me
me the pebble worn smooth
with the ebb and flow
permeable I am to water
eyes blue from drinking
springing out of me
my resolution to fate

your strength of character
waining with each pass
as the sculptures hands
mould the clay
so the brine
breaks us away
passing eons of love

submit and never stay.

Ask not what you can do to poetry, but what poetry can do to you.

Related Items


The following comments are for "Submit"
by londongrey

I am not much useful to commenting on articles and essays, but here I can say that you have a lovely piece. I love the sounds of 'Bs' in the first stanza: Brine, peBBle, eBB, permeaBle, Blue... I love the image, for one to submit like a soft claypot to some molding hands...

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: October 21, 2004 )

More elegance
I like your patience in your writing. Patient but persistent, however not overdone. You could have prattled on endlessly, but you kept it short and sweet as sugar. Some word choices were surprising as I wouldn't have chosen them: springing eyes, breaks us away. I should choose to re-work them. But in the words of another sage "that's just me". ;)

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: October 22, 2004 )

Alex, let your Profound Wisdom
flow and may it never stop. This is so good. I love the words twisted and joined as this is. Another lovely piece.


( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: October 31, 2004 )

HistParl.Com - History of Parliament
The History of Parliament is a major academic project to create a scholarly reference work describing the members, constituencies and activities of the Parliament of England and the United Kingdom.

( Posted by: joker [Member] On: March 9, 2006 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.