Saddam Supplied WMD's to Terrorismers, says Bush
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President Bush claimed today to have "undisputatable evidentiaries" of "nucular material matter" supplied by Saddam Hussein to "terrorismers". Bush, apparently lacking his usual back-mounted remote control mechanism, was quoted as saying that "Saddam supplied the Kryptonite that liberal democrat trial lawyers hid in the brain stems of unborn Christian babies & were injected into Superman by ACLU doctors. They killed Superman. You can't trust those liberal college professors. They spooked his horse back in '96 'cause they knew Superman's vulnerable when he's on a horse. This is why I've been opposed to sucking out Christian babies' brain stems. Now without Superman I don't know how we're gonna find Osama."
After Secret Service agents hustled the president away, a spokesman told the press that the president was "joking, and suffering from jet lag". Several members of the press who witnessed the scene said that Bush appeared to be on the same medication as during the first presidential debate. "He was whack!" said one.
Dick Cheney later commented that "Saddam's link to Kryptonite has not been disproved".
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do."
- Ralph 'Where's Waldo' Emerson
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like. And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
- Bilbo Baggins