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The Mirror

The way was cold and crooked. I sensed by body but did not find it. The mirror was in my hand, looked at my face, it was reflected broken. I hear a mourning voice behind me, walked faster, something being shut; might be a door.
Saw a lightened corner up road; run there, my steps were faster than I had used to. The light dazzled me; closed my eyes, looked again; images flashed, turned my face refusing to see their severe.

Two strong hands were rocking my swing, I shouted merry:” more.. Higher.” Coming backward, the swing touched his chest, I smell his perfume, seized it in my lungs, then expelled it out into the air, the perfume evanesce, his hands too. The swing was broken.
Slipping down, my feet touched the ground, raised the mirror; two large dark eyes of a little girl flashed, showing pain and a wish to fly.

I turned the corner. City seemed worm and lighted. Stepped on wooden platform; a strong hand withhold me, leading me forward, there were loud claps, the hand spoke, I hear it talking, saying:” you are the star, you must play your role well” I did not know what my role was, but I understand that the sound was the director’s.

Strange cloths on me; I looked odd, beautiful, colored, and tender, dared not look in the mirror, afraid, might see that woman, whose broken face dwells in the mirror.

Sited on the swing again, was my role to sit on it for ever?. Strong hand pushed it up, frightened; I clutched its ropes, yet, when it was backward, it touched a chest, I smelled a perfume I have known, I have loved once. I discovered that the hands were his, also the smell, was his too. Swinging in the smell, I lost my conscious. I became that little girl, singing and dancing. Happiness’ drums were hitting, the wooden platform echoed the sounds. Grass grew around me; wet and green. His hands around me, and his perfume made me boozy. I forget my mirror. Danced with everybody. Roads were brightening, earth jumped joyfully. I called him to sit by my side; we two are on the swing, slipping to the sea, thrown on the rocks. The longing blue is calling out to its shy sun, raising its waves toward it. The shy red brushed its golden hair around its head, and lazily stretched its beams.
I shouted: ” Look! We are there, two shadows in its center; you and me.” The bright beams of the loving sun neared, slept on the hands of the sea, and buried itself within its body. The sea calmed down embracing its beloved, slept; the world was drown in darkness. I dared not sleep afraid if I did then I might wake up to find that the sea and the sun were only a dream, afraid I might go back to the mirror and dwell in the broken face. I hear his hands laughing at me jockeying my fair. I asked him:” please tell me, who is me? The kid of the swing? The woman of the broken face? The drown sun of the sea? “His voice replied:” look in the mirror, you will know.”. Hesitated, if I looked, I might return to her, whose eyes frightened me. He Asked me “ do you want to know the truth?“ I nodded. Holding his hands tightly, they pushed my swing up, I hear my voice” higher..up..up” and I laughed joyfully, the mountain neared me, the forest’s trees approached, I singed with the clouds, the lightning brighten in my heart charging me with a strange power, as if I have born new, live once more.

Suddenly, the director shouted”: stop! Go back”. I refused, go on, fetch for his hands, hold them, and inbreathe from his chest my favorite smell.

The director screamed:” stop! You will be punished for breaking the game’s rules, you should not be solved in the role, and you should just act it perfectly.”

I pointed to the hands, begging them:” why should you let me down twice? Why should you break my swing twice?” I hear his hands’ voice saying,” go back to the mirror and you will know.”

I am afraid to go back, afraid I might freeze in it, afraid to be broken within two worlds. Say angry:” why? If I am from the mirror’s world, why did you lead me to this theater? Why should I back now?

At last, looking in the mirror, I saw myself brighten with wild truthfulness. I stopped the swing, cut its ropes, break the mirror and declared loudly:” you are but a fail!.. Director.”


------
najwanajati


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