What comes now is bad verse and high-spin anecdotes. Trust me brothers, I feel your pain. While she prattles on about me console yourself knowing that I sat through the ones before me too.
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Don't take everything she says about your predeceasors at face value - continents could drift in the space between reality and her recall thereof. I don't say she lies but she has a unique perspective that colours what she retains. Don't hate us on principle - we were all human and some of us tried.
If you can't quite keep up with the Daytona 500 she's displeased to call her mind don't feel too bad. Few people can sprint a marathon and she does it 10 times a day.
If you are going to fuck up fuck up on the big things - she expects it. Getting the big things right but missing small details throws her off. Give her minimal effort and you'll both be happier for it.
When you get frustrated because explaining yourself is like playing catch with a quadruple amputee remember that she has a very warm and generous heart. Sometimes it is covered by the avalanche in her head but it is always there.Get used to her crying if you ever offer a dissenting opinion.
She's an easy girl to love but a damned hard one to be in love with. Here there be dragons - I should know. I tried to chart a course but while I was dodging the dragons I ran up on the rocks.
I've been where you are. Sitting at her table while she smokes interminable cigarettes, recites her littany of beaus and swears off pot while packing a bowl. Does the table still squeek whenever you move? I know, that's because I fixed it.
She will always startle when you wake her. She will always think her house is more of a mess than it is. She will always be too free with her company and her time but her charms are yours and yours alone. Do her the same courtesy.
So that's it. Somewhere a rooster is crowing which means that it is time for us good little ghosts to fuck off. I know you'll hear about me - I wanted you to hear from me. I was one of the ones who tried.
But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem? / If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy? - The Bloodhound Gang Hell Yeah