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I've 5 minutes
to say to you
what it took me
to realize
I know that
I've been unfaithful
and that
no matter what
i say
what i do
can change the fact of
what i've done

but since i've
been without
i have come to
realize that
i truly do love you
all my heart and that
you are
the most
wonderful person i've ever known
in my
entire life

(3 minutes left)

so i ask of you
with tears in my
and hands that shake
if you can find
it in your heart
to see past my
and offer me back a place
your heart
(time is up)

He who is unable to live in society, or has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god -Aristotle

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The following comments are for "5 minutes"
by thebeast

Time's Up
I really like how it's straight forward. Everyone makes mistakes and it's never until after we make them that we realize how bad they are. Making a mistake is easy, making up for it...not so much. I also wonder why this person has five minutes. Makes me wonder of he just showed up on her doorstep, and before she could slam the door he said, "Wait....just give me five minutes to talk."
I would like to see this poem developed more though...but then again perhaps it's the broadness that makes it easy for people to relate. I can't decide. lol.
One last thing, spiffy Avatar. Real cute. :D

( Posted by: Concept [Member] On: October 8, 2004 )

a few words
Thank you all for taking recognition of what I've written, but it seems that I need to explain a little of the time lapse.
"5 mintes" actually was written in 5 minutes. The first part which is also the longest part just kind of came out, so at the 3 minute mark I stopped and pondered some before I continued.
Also, the part which says "with tears in my
and hands that shake" you can assume the the character is very upset and it's taking longer to finish.

But again, thank you all for the comments.

The Beast

( Posted by: thebeast [Member] On: October 8, 2004 )

Well done
I really like this piece. It's raw and yes, I enjoy the angst. It wouldn't work without it. We are all human, with shaking hands, and deserve forgiveness. We all make mistakes, therefore erasers on pencils, but I see no mistakes here in this piece. Good job.


( Posted by: Char [Member] On: October 8, 2004 )

Clocked By Love
Five minutes.....
from Love....
is a long time for a shattered clock

( Posted by: awhippingflame [Member] On: August 15, 2016 )

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