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The Blue Flies

Silence.. No word, TV’s herald presents the recent progress of today news. Sinks in her seat, holds her legs between her arms, as if afraid they will antecede her running away far, coughs; feeling the dust in her lungs. Whispers: “it is a stifling atmosphere”.
Glances at her with absent look, his voice so deep; replies: “another play we should witness.” His legs fail; wants to stand and go; he dare not. Confused, he thinks: “how many times I decided and failed, she did not fulfill my dream, she could not give me one child, many years I was waiting for a hope never came true, there should be a solution.” “I will marry.” He says. She shrugs her shoulders; hear this many times, what can she do?.” Another woman will occupy you, a stranger will enter your life.” She says. “Will not fail you; I will be available.” He replies. “What is the use of tender words, she knows how it would be.’ she thinks. Listens again to the TV; one channel announces victory news, crafts being crushed; another says that confederacy arms went deep in the city. She is confused; does not know; should she believe his promises that he will always love her, be friends forever, or should believe her knowledge about his nature; a man who adores beauty. He said: “beauty of soul is more important, and memories are stronger, belongness, history and..”. She laughs “And Geography? What about it? To discover new continents, green hills, and virgin water.” she replies him.
Defenders fight crafts, blue flies fall down by shots of an old man. She defends the invasion of a young woman to the heat of a man whom she loved all her life. Her weapons are old. Her sister shouted:” leave him and ask for divorce, do you accept your humiliation!.” At evening, she returned to his chest, smelled his land and shadow, his grass and trees, asked herself:” can I?.”
One fighter shouts:” I’ll defend until my death, to last drop of my blood.”
He was her homeland. “Is victory possible?”. She asks. “Impossible!” He replies.
She chokes; powers are not equivalent. Should she fly away?. Should she leave him?. Could she live without him?. Feels so weak, she knows how it likes to face reality. So bitter.
He thinks:” this time I will execute my decision, but if she wants to stay here, what shall I do?, I don’t have another home, where to live with my new wife? In addition, will I be used to live with another woman? I love her, but still I want a baby. Her love was like a great beautiful edifice, strong and controlling, was it her fault that it was not fruitful? Despair makes me feel weak and drought. There is no other solution; there should be another woman.
She thinks: “I’ll stay and accept his conditions; no need to try, I can’t, what is the use of defending? He will not recoil; I know his headiness and his strong will.”
The blue flies surround the city, some fit fire to make them fly away; they attach through holes inside the smokes. TV sound is high; one channel says: important points fell, another says: we surround their armies, unconsciously, she murmured: “Isn’t there any way?” “Need a miracle!.” He replies. “How realism you are!” She says. Laughing loudly, he reverts: “that is the truth.”
“Yes I need miracle,” she thinks, “My belly is dry and unfruitful”. He notices her thoughts; stretches his hand to her; “you are the edifice of love; it is neither your fault nor mine, may be it is fate.” He says. Bitterly she asked: “no choice?” his eyes darken; “no other choice.”.
The herald says the confederacy want to turn down the controller, want to change the policy’s system.
Oppression is hard, and she will not be injustice to him; the deficiency is hers, she has no right to take him away of his dreams, she will assist him as sign of her real love.
“I accept your conditions; and stay with you.” She suggests. “A new building could not be settled upon the old one; we should break down the old to build the new.” He replied.
The voice of the herald becomes higher, the city is empty, and confederacy army occupies the city. The blue flies cover its sky.
Putting his head between his arms; he remembers the young girl he saw before few days, pretty like a dream, he anticipate his child inside her belly.
The dream becomes so strong controlling his days and he no more is able to resist. he wants her and him. Glanced at her, his eyes full of tears, her love, his memories with her, and the happy past, all that he should forget, but he feels weak, feels the strength of fate. He feels the bitterness of life.
She can understand his thoughts, their past together, unity of body and soul, love which she considered so great, never could be broken, is falling down now!
The herald is announcing now the end of the war.
“I will leave tomorrow,” she says.
“The play is finished” replies absently.
“It is hard,” she says.
“Hardness is a necessity, when we feel drought.” He reverts.
“It is a drought to be hard, not to control other solutions,” she says, but he did not hear her, he was giggling loudly, following the felling down of the statue.
The blue flies fill the square of the city, fetching for a new target.
She picked up her memories with her cloths, putting them in bags.
He sits down waiting for the coming days.

The end.


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The following comments are for "The Blue Flies"
by najwanajati

This was very confusing right from the start yet I pushed on because I thought you were getting somewhere with it all. Yet, the more I read the more confused I became.

I am not even sure what the story line is. Is their two characters here. I'm not sure I know who is speaking at any time.

Try defining your paragraphs better. Perhaps naming your characters. Telling us who they are so we can tell who is talking at any moment.

Try reading Beckett's most recent story and see how he writes. I would spend a lot more time reading. In doing so you will learn how the story is crafted.

I will end by saying I can see you have heart and put a lot of work into this. So keep at it.


( Posted by: Jeff [Member] On: October 9, 2004 )

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