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SUPERNATUARL: KEN TREMAS STORY







RING RING. The Cellphone rang in the darkness of the light. Ken Trema, a Orange County local surfer, owner of the cellphone, picked it up of his dresser draw. "Hello?" he groaned, half asleep. "Whos there?" Then, a deafing scream. Ken knew that scream. it was the scream that Zoe, his girlfriend. It was one she made when they saw Hannibal, after he rented it from BlockBuster. "ZOE!" Ken shouted. Then more screams, and the line goes dead. Ken, realizing Zoe was in trouble, looked at his caller ID. "FLORIDA CALL" it read. Now, he really had a problem. He was in California, and Zoe was in Florida. He ran outside to scream. "NOOOOOOO!" he roared as loud as he could. But as he did this, the sky lit up, and formed into a dark cloud. Ken looked up, and saw something like a beam of light.... Suddenly, we went cold, and before he knew it, he was floating... into this dark void in the sky!





As he came to, vison blurred, he saw Nothing, execpt for a girl, who looked remarkable like Zoe... she had long, black hair- like Zoes, she had Aisan skin- still like Zoes-- He shot up in awe. ''Wha...? Who are you?", he said, as the girl realized he was awake. "Where am I? Heaven? No---- I can't be dead! I have to save Zoe!" The girl "ran" over to him, looking like she was caught in slow motion. "There is no cause for alarm. You are dead, but-" She was cut short by Ken, eyes wide. "No! I am not dead! This is all a dream! A bad Dream! A Nightmare! Zoe is not in Florida! She did not get kiddnapped! I am still nice and warm in my bed in my apartment in Orange County!', he said as he knelt, rocking back and forth. "Don't worry", says the girl. "All will be right". She stares at Ken. "You dont reconize me, do you?". Ken, head against knees, looks up, eyeing the girl. 'Well", he says, " You do look like Zoe.... hmm...and I know I have seen you before....now where?" he trails off into deep thought. The girl looks at Ken. 'Well, close enough. I am Kowie... Zoes sister...."
Ken looks up at Kowie. "But... But- YOUR DEAD! You died in a car accident! I was at your Funeral! Wha- how-!!!" Kowie shoots Ken a glance, with a little smirk on her face. " Hmm", she laughs. 'Dead, huh? Well... Now you are too!"

More soon!






(c) Keaghan Townsend ( Alternitive Ego: ken Trema, the Main Charater! )


------
I want to be in another place
I hate when you say you dont understand
( You'll see it's not meant to be)
I want to be in the Energy, not with the Enemy
A place for my head
"A place for my head"-Linkin Park



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Comments

The following comments are for "Supernatural: Ken Tremas Story"
by Ken Trema

to Ken Trema
Grammar and spelling mistakes, fix them please, it gets distracting especially in such a short excerpt.

It is slightly melodramatic therefore comical when Ken went outside and screamed. Why would he run outside to scream in the first place? Provide at least some semblance of reason.

This story has potential but please polish it.

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: April 21, 2002 )

It was okay, but...
I normaly rate storys very high, the problem is I'm not even sure this this one had a beta reader, it honestly seems better than some of my old work, but each chapter should be longer, the plot twist didn't mean anything to me with how short it was. Try to have a few extra details in the future, even if it takes up more space it's well worth it.

Maybe if it started earlier that night it would have gotten more of the mystery feel you were going for.

( Posted by: Ragath [Member] On: April 24, 2002 )

Yeah.....
Yeah... well, this was my first one.....

Anyway, how do upload anything to that story?

( Posted by: Ken Trema [Member] On: May 9, 2002 )

NVM that...
Now, i am going to change at and add it into another story in progress (not the Vampire W/o a cause story).

( Posted by: Ken Trema [Member] On: June 20, 2002 )





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