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Voices from the pit,
Pipeline to my thoughts,
There and not there,
Constant and fleeting,
Forever the sound,
Of my inner most feeling,
How can i explain,
To you when you ask?
The sound of words whispered,
The voices from the pit.

------
Abs.

Me!? Weird!? Never!!


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The following comments are for "Voices from the pit"
by Abbie

to abbie
Good theme but the punctuation can be changed to improve the rhythm especially in "Constant and fleeting,
Forever the sound,
Of my inner most feeling," and the transition to "How can I explain". Maybe create a separate stanza for it?

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: April 21, 2002 )





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