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Well, this is my second attempt at a song. Like before, i really don't know anything about setting up the chorus and what *cough* I didn't even bother adding one. I do like this one considerably better than my first attempt though despite some of my own annoyances with it.

That Makes Living 9-29-04

You know yesterday
When the road was leading you
To what you knew
And tomorrow
Makes perfect sense
Because today has relevance

You have
Facts and figures
Youíd always figured
Youíd have the time
To keep on following
The easy view
And make this life
A bigger part of you

But every sample
Of every thought
You ever had
Is just a drop
It doesnít matter
If you collect them all
One by one
They always fall

itís the struggle
And itís the fight
Itís the part that
Makes livingó

There is no equation
Do not expect
An easy living
Without regret

So do what youíve got to do
Itís not what you know
But how you knew
the toughest part of living
is just learning how to live
and that road is taking
every step you're willing to give

I don't know if it should be a song or not...I mean, I felt that i could have kept going and going and going like that energizer bunny except I have homework to get done. My brain isn't exactly bubbling over with enthusiasm over that one. --.-- I like parts, and other parts i don't, but i really can't think of anything to really make it click together. I think when I write a good poem or anything that it snaps. Like legos it snaps into place and you KNOW that that is the way it's suppose to be. Not just little bits and pieces, but the whole of it together. It happens upon occasion, but it usually after a long time of revising.

Ooo..and it took 18 safety pins, but I got that toga on. How about that! I'm so proud. Though, that was until I got to school. You know what is worse than wearing a toga-which is pretty bad because of the whole tripping factor and the rocket science it involves to use the restroom? The worst thing is wearing a BAD toga. Live and learn...

And later that night*chuckles*
Time: 10:38

Well, I had more to write so I'll just add to this blog entry, no need to submit another.
I just watched the Bush vs Kerry debate. I fully admit my...soft brainess where politics are concerned because basically, I don't have the mind nor the stomach for it. It's a tough job, and I can't debate what should have been done and what should be done because I simply don't know. That much i'm willing to admit, and perhaps it is my ignorance of the subject that pushes me to wonder if it was just that that made it appear as though Bush was squirming or perhaps he was just really thirsty. I caught most of what the debate was about, and from what I understood Kerry nailed Bush on a lot of topics and Bush didn't really have anything to come back with. He spent a lot of time defending himself and his actions but didn't really have any plans. Even though i don't have the mind for such things, the exposure to it is unavoidable, and even as much as i've been exposed to Bush, I feel i have a better idea of what Kerry is all for than what Bush is for. Kerry has an aura of authority around him that he knows what he is doing and Bush doesn't have that. To me it seemed as if he wasn't looking down at notes, but at vocabulary words to help move his talking along. Perhaps Kerry has had more practice and was more prepared. I mean certainly I would hope the President was spending his time trying to fix all the problems going on and not play twenty questions....

Though, just a bit of humor here. My little brother said, "Bush looks like a bobblehead" and that kind of cracks me up because he does. Not that that has anything to do with anything but...I can't get a mental image of Bush now without seeing him on a dashboard or something.

I think if i was old enough to vote, I would vote for Kerry. Though, I really do want to see the future debates. Now that Bush has gotten a taste of how prepared Kerry is, he might actually try to get some of the things done that Kerry pointed out, even if it's for ammo. Like I said, i'm not much for politics, and maybe the subject matter of the next debate will be more enlightening to Bush's arguement than Kerry's...but this one, I think, gained points for Kerry and not Bush.

Okay, enough about politics. I think I'm catching a throat is wicked sore, and I caught a cough. ulg. I would go onto a rant about school, it's been a bummer of late, but it's almost 11 o clock, and I really need to go to bed.

And On a lighter note, I'm absolutely thrilled that the new laurell K hamilton book came out for the Anita Blake series. Incubus Dreams. My mom and I are both reading it. Such an addicting series I think. Gotta love romance, even more so when there is an awesome plot and killer characters(literally). Tomorrow is Friday which is awesome because I feel like sleeping in late.
Good Nighty

I'm in a nutshell

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The following comments are for "That Makes Living"
by Concept

Hehe, yeah the debate was definitely interesting and it truely reveals who is more comfortable debating. In fact, right now i'm in my sociology class and the current discussion is the debate, such heated views from either side, but it's the friendly sort. And by the way, you have to be 18 years old to vote...

( Posted by: Concept [Member] On: October 1, 2004 )

New Talent

I have just spent some time going through the work you have posted on Lit. I had not noticed your work, but looked for it after you commented on my poem 'Black Dog'.

I tend to frequent the poetry section and all of my work, to date, is in rhyme. It is not that often I comment on anything but rhyming poetry unless the work really intests me and 'grabs' my attention. Yours does, all of it. The way you use a natural commentary and include your lyrics, haku and poetry is refreshing and I would not change this one bit.

I would, however, love you to post the poetry from these blogs as 'stand alone' submisions in the poetry section or people will actually miss them as most do not have time to go searching for new work. Also a catchy subject title would help us to find yoour excellent poetry.

The above poem(song), 'That Makes Living'

I think this is very well written and the message you give is something I try to strive for in my poetry. This is a site where we try to help others, both in life and in their literary skills and I would offer one piece of critique to this poem.

You have written very profound words but I would remove or soften the line:

'So do what youíve got to do'

It sounds, to me, like an instruction and I know it is not meant this way. It is always a trap to be avoided when writing inspirational poetry. The reader must read your words and decide whether he/she agrees with them or not and take out of it what they can.

Fussy, ain't I? The poem as I said is amazing, but try to avoid giving instuctions in this style of writing and yes, I know a lot of people will disagree that this does that.

Your haiku (I am not haiku fan),lyrics and blogs have been a delightful read and thank you. Hope to see more of you, especially in thepoetry section!

Have Fun,


( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: October 2, 2004 )

*thumbs up*
I appreciate that you spent the time to look me up, and I will certainly take your suggestion to mind. That one line does sound a little cliche doesn't it? That line does sound a bit stronger than the rest, commanding while the rest is just sort of stating things. hmm... I'll revise that.

I'll also try to spread my stuff out more. Seperate blogs from poetry. I'm not sure about catchy titles though..hehe, I just type up anything. Titles involve more thinking than i have the brain juice for, especially after writing other stuff. :P

I very much appreciate your advice and compliments. :D

( Posted by: Concept [Member] On: October 2, 2004 )

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