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The chill of winterís night, peaking her sheer night gown
This sight and her fragrance are intoxicating, his arousal visually manifested
They embrace and kiss deeply, her hands between them
Her shapely form, being traced by his strong arms and hands
Tingles electrifyingly, from his fervent explorations
Their once deep, steady breaths, now shallow and pantingly sharp
In throws of passion, urgent from his need, filling her desire
As one they climb higher, manifested by their primordial pleas
To the gods or anyone else listening, they explain their pleasures
With carnal meanings, to the fulfillment of their desires, shared openly now
In harmony or one word at a time, some with out meaning, yet understood
Individual feelings linked in sharp, torrid reply to the others need, finally
They fall, drained, exhausted, completely spent of energy, still clutching
They search for needed breath, taking long minutes for it to return, then
She giggles, softly smiling, at that wicked smile of his, their eyes meet
Staring into the abyss of each others soul, through these portals called eyes
Their souls melt into each other and she listens to his hearts message
A message, she can only define as, his willingness to be hers, completely
She hears too, its resounding beat, only now returning its normal rhythm
She feels his warm, yet cool hands begin to smooth the skin of her backside
Again she hears his heart, its tempo renewed in desire by his own hands
She realizes this night will go on much longer than either expected
The now fervent kiss she willingly offers, while smiling coyly inside
Knowing the effect it will have on him, as he slowly moves lower and lower

Daniel Lloyd Kennedy

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The following comments are for "Winter's Only Heat..."
by daprdan

Oh so Nice Dan,
Very warming. Such a wonderful love story. You have written this so well, the truest form of IN LOVE with one another. Deliciously done. I really like this Dan.
Thank you for posting this toasty poem.


( Posted by: dareva [Member] On: September 27, 2004 )

dan's passion
If my hubby wrote that to me he would probably be a happier man.

I love the way you are able to express passion from the male point of view. It is an enigma to most of us.

( Posted by: jade [Member] On: September 28, 2004 )

I Have...
To thank you ladies (and one in particular-you know who you are) for this journey into the sensual side of writing (without the XXX)... You have inspired this trek of mine... :)

Claire, It is sort of a Letter... :) Thank You for noticing... Just a little something for cold night thoughts... :o))

Dar, Thank you and hope it inspires warmth all-ways... :o)

Judy, Thank you for reading, (Pretend it was from him, but don't tell him why) :))

Lilia, Thank you, and I am honored with your praise... something for the cold nights... LOL

( Posted by: daprdan [Member] On: September 29, 2004 )

The Technology of Love Capacity,

Excellent treatment of such a private moment.
"To the gods or anyone else listening, they explain their pleasures"-very poetic.

These passages turned off the beaty of the moment (maybe because I am too sensitive?):

"nightie" -- too colloquial. Maybe: teddy, or other synonyms, resort to their French names, even if you have to?

"his reaction is immediate" -- without describing too much, mention the manifestation of rection. You are not bound by rhyme, therefore, say something about his breath, or breathing, or chest heaving, or his body thrusting, or him bending towards her, or whatever along those lines.

"He explores fervently, her shapely form, with strong arms" - in this and other lines- rearranging the sentence would manipulate the verb to add zest. Otherwise, I was swept up and then knocked down by the less important mentioning of the arms.
"Her shapely form, with strong arms fervently he explores" it sounds very exciting to me. I think it sounds classy and almost suggests a rhyme. Maybe that trick would even give you a stating ping for a rhyme.

And in "The urgency of their closeness is being filled to capacity" - everything except "closeness" sounds technical and legalese.

Ease, action, structure, expression. (The acronym unintentional)


( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: October 4, 2004 )

Thank You...
Teflon... I took your suggestions to heart and they were wonderful... thank you for the time and help...

( Posted by: daprdan [Member] On: November 21, 2004 )

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