The Tartan Band
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Okay. Laddies. Time to don yee old tartan and fight the good fight. Everybody in place. Any words from the scouts?
Nuffin yet. Gee that's a nice hemline on yur skirt Macca
Thanking ye too Macka. Your wee kilt is gettin a bit frayed.
Ah Knoo. But it'll be a brit whit moonlit nit in Aberdeen because ah get another.
Macca. There's been a sighting of a Tom. Central Plaza Mall. Women's Intimate Apparel.
I'm there Macka! Fire up the Austin. Clash the Claymore boys, we're going into battle.
Keep ya face hidden in the wee lace Macca.
Aye Macka I will.
Somewhere else in the wide world of the web, images from a phone camera are transferred to computer and an overweight figure seated at the terminal clicks through the pictures. Selections are made and arranged for the website pages. Suddenly the computer operator shrieks and rocks back, clutching at his chest. The latest update of the Unsuspecting Upskirter is postponed indefinitely at the untimely death of the website developer.
A police spokesperson said today that a remote robot had to be deployed to switch off the computer before police and ambulance officers could approach the body, while in the highlands there was much hooting and swapping of sporrans.
Like the grasses showing tender faces to each other, thus should we do, for this was the wish of the Grandfathers of the World.