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For many years, I have kept it to myself. But now, after his death, I need to write it down. The world should know the truth about that summer. I need them to know. I feel that time has changed the story so much and the truth should be told. It started at the end of my freshman year of high school…

“We’re finally free!” I said, walking out of the school with Jake and Jason on either side of me.

“No more pencils, no more books, no more teacher’s dirty looks!” Jake started singing.

Jason rolled his eyes, “Good old Jake. Never change!”

“That Social Studies mid-term was near IMPOSSIBLE!” We turned down the street that lies in front of the school. A few kids headed off to the nearby shopping center, which we all called town. There were few people that climbed onto their bus. The sun felt so warm on my face and the smell of summer was all around us.

Jake stopped singing, “Poor baby.” He put his arm around my shoulders.

“Icky!” I screamed and turned onto the street where we lived and ran towards our houses. My house was between Jake’s and Jason’s. We have lived together for the greater part of our lives. Jake had moved in when he was two and Jason and I had lived there all our lives. When we were little, we would have sleepovers every weekend. My father put a stop to that when he found out that I knew what sex was. We were always together. When I had my first major boyfriend, we grew apart a little. When we broke up, my best friends had snuck me out of my room and spent the night cheering me up. No matter where we were, if we were together, it was fun.

Jake and Jason chased me down the street. I stopped dead at the sight of my house. There were cop cars in front of it. I ran into my house, dropping my bag on the lawn. “Mom?”

“Mrs. Philips?” Jason called from behind me.

The front hall was a total mess. It looked as if a tornado had torn threw it. I pushed past the broken mirror that lay in the front hall and yelled, “Daddy?”

“Mr. Philips?” Jake yelled as he pushed threw the hall after me, next to Jason.

“Jill? Baby?” I pushed open my swinging kitchen door. My mom stood, pacing like she always did, next to the kitchen table where the police officer sat. I looked around and felt weak to my knees. My cabinets were all opened and dishes were carelessly thrown onto the floor. The drawls were opened most of them. Papers were flung throughout the kitchen, covering the floor. The counter looked disorganized, which happened to be very unlike the Philips. For lack of a better word, the room was a disaster.

I felt the room spin a little and I was a little dazed, “Where’s Daddy?”

In the back of my mind, as I look back now, I think I knew what she was going to say. Her lips went a little tighter and she ceased from pacing. “The hospital,” she said meekly. That did it. Those words it me like a tidal wave. My knees gave out and everything went black. Jake and Jason were there to catch my limp body.


“Wake up, honey. Please, wake up,” I heard my mom’s voice say. I let my senses come back to me without opening my eyes. I felt the warm covers of my bed around my body and my fluffy pillow supporting my head. I heard my ferret scurrying around its cage in the corner, next to my walk in closet.

“Go back downstairs, Mrs. Philips.” I heard Jason suggest.

“Yeah, we can take care of her,” I felt Jake take a hold of my hand.

“All right, dears. I should start cleaning the kitchen. It’s simply a mess!” My mom paced a little and looked at me and then left. I heard Jason close the door behind her.

“You can open your eyes now,” Jason said from the foot of my bed.

I opened my eyes slowly and everything was blurry at first. After a few seconds, everything came back into focus. My rood had looked the same has it had that morning, when I left. The only difference was that Jake had moved my desk chair closer to my bed. The familiar powder green walls made me feel safe. “How’d ya know I was up?”

“How long have we been friends?” Jason smirked as he sat onto the end of my bed.

“You all right?” Jake asked. He had a serious, worry sot of tone in his voice. It used to rarely be there.

I sat up and turned the covers off of me. I sat Indian style. “Yeah. It just shocked me, ya know?”

“Yeah,” Jake said as he let go of my hand. He didn’t really know. I never had the police at his house and no one ever broke into his home. “I hope I never have to catch you again. Damn, your heavy!” I slapped him on the knee and smiled.

“So, anyway, did mom tell you guys what happened?” I asked.

“You fainted. We caught you. We were there, so were you. Of course…” Jason said slowly, as if he was talking to a two-year-old.

“Shush! I was talking about daddy. What happened with daddy?” Jason and Jake exchange worried-I-don’t-wanna-tell-her-you-tell-her looks. “What?? Wuz up, guys?”

Jake grabbed a hold of my hand again. “Your mom came home and found him lying in the kitchen. There was blood, a lot from what your mom told us. She called 911 as soon as she saw him like that.” He stopped and looked over at Jason. I help his hand tighter and looked into his brown eyes.

It was silent for a moment, and then Jason talked in place of Jake. “He hasn’t woken up, yet. The police think someone broke in.” His green eyes met with my ocean blue ones. Mine were filling with tear, and I tried to hold them back. “I’m so sorry, Jill.” Jason slid towards me and I put my head on his shoulder. Jake moved onto the bed and rubbed my back, while still holding my hand. I cried. I cried like a baby, and they cradled me like a precious child.


That night, I lied in bed, wide-awake. The only light in my dark room was the moon, shinning through my closed window across the room. Although it was scorching hot outside, the house was cold. I pulled the covers up to my chin. Since I grew bored with counting the dots on my ceiling, I let the events of the day pass through my mind

I had gotten up a little earlier then usual. I went to school and took my last two finals. Do to the half of day, I left school early and walked home with Jason and Jake; and then my life went to hell. After crying got a long while with Jake and Jason, mom and I had gone to the hospital to see daddy. They said he had woken up earlier, but needed his sleep, so we could wake him up. He looked pretty beat up.

On our way home, we picked up food from McDonald’s and brought it home. We had eaten in silence. The rest of my night was spent on the phone with Jason and Jake, trying to convince them that I was fine. After I hung up with them at ten o’clock, I went right to bed.

I looked over at my clock that sat on my nightstand next to me bed. It read eleven o’clock. I sighed deeply and rolled over to face the wall. Then I heard a noise outside my window. I sat up then froze, searching for movement through the closed window. It was silent until I heard whispers arise from outside.

“It’s locked, I think.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what I said! It’s locked,” Replied the first whisper with annoyance. The window moved a little, showing that someone was trying to open it. As bright as it seemed outside, I still couldn’t see the people these voices belonged to.

“She never locks her window!” Hissed the second voice.

“Well, she did tonight!” the voice said back in fury.

Funny, I thought to myself, these voices sound awfully familiar…

“Knock, maybe she’s in there.”

“The lights off and she doesn’t just sit in the dark. And it’s way too early for her to be in bed. Don’t be stupid!” The window jiggled some more. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks who was trying to get in my room were. I pulled the covers back off of me and got out of bed. I made my way to my window.

“Maybe she went to bed early. Look in the window and see.”

I opened the window and looked down at Jake and Jason. “You guys have to work on your breaking in skills,” I whispered down.

They made faces up at me from the side of my house. “Would you be nice enough to help us up?” I thought it over for a moment. “Come on!” begged Jake.

I shrugged, “All right.” I stretched out my hand and grabbed Jake’s wrist. I pulled him through my window. Then I waited for Jason to climb up to where I could reach him. Jake fumbled through my room and found the light. I pulled Jason up the same way I had pulled up Jake.

I closed the window quietly and then turned to my friends, “So, what were you guys doing outside my window?” I plopped down onto my bed. Jason took comfort in my inflatable chair. Jake sat in my desk chair backwards.

“Just hanging,” Jake smiled. I rolled my eyes. “Alright, we were a little worried, is all." Jake’s eyes wondered around my room as he talked. He looked at my posters of movie stars and cute models that were typed to the far wall. My ferret sat in his cage, scurrying around happily.

I watch the Ferret, named JJ, after Jake and Jason.

“You were still upset after we left,” Jason reminded me.

“And on the phone you didn’t sound much better,” added Jake.

“I told you I was fine.”

“And we started listening to you, when?” asked Jake with a cocky smile. I had to smile with him. Jake could make the most depression person in the world laugh.

“Shush!” I tossed my pillow at him. Jake threw it back and I caught it and placed it in my lap. I rested my elbows on it.

“So, your alright?” Jason asked. Jason was the serious one in our little trio. He was totally different then Jake. Looking back, I suppose I was the glue that held them together. I was always more mature then them combined, but I’d relax with them. We all always went partying together. We always said we’d be friends forever.

I beamed at Jason, “How can I not be fine if I’m with you two?”

“Does that ferret ever get on your nerves?” Jake pointed at the hyperactive animal that was jumping around the cage.

“He’s only like this when you guys are around.” I hopped off my bed and went over to JJ’s cage. “Especially when you guys come in through the window.” I opened the cage and let JJ climb onto my shoulder.

“Insane little thing,” commented Jason.

I sat back on my bed and JJ hopped to one of the bedposts. I smiled, “Well, he is named after you two.”

“Are you calling us crazy?” Jason said sounding appalled.

“Uh, yeah!” Jason made a face at me. My ferret jumped off my bedpost and scampered over to Jake. It ran to his shoulder and onto the desk.

“It’s insane! What’s it doing?” Jake rose from his seat and walked over to my bed. He plopped down next to me.

JJ hopped over to Jason and climbed on his shoulder. Jason got up and joined us on the bed. JJ leaped off of Jason and curled up in my lap. “It’s not insane,” I said as I stroked its soft fur.

The guys and I stopped talking about my dad and JJ and began to talk about ordinary things. We talked about the past school year and the one that was coming up in three months. We complained about how the summer was too short and that it should be as long as the school year, and the school year as long as summer. We made our plans for the summer. They told me I could treat them to ice cream when I got my license in two weeks. JJ stayed curled up in my lap, calm and relaxed, for the rest of the night.


The sun streamed through my window and felt warm on my face. I felt JJ squirming next to me. I sat up and looked around my room. Jake was leaning against my pillow, which was leaning against the wall. I had fallen asleep on his lap. Jason sat with his elbow against the bedpost at the foot of my bed with his head upon his hand. JJ, who had fallen curled up close to my body, hopped off the bed and into his opened cage.

Jason moved a little and his head fell off his hand and hit the wooden frame at the end of my bed with a loud clank. He woke up with a jump and I started laughing hysterically. Jake rubbed his eyes, and Jason rubbed his head.

“When did my room start looking like Jill’s?” Jake asked himself.

I beamed at him, “It doesn’t!”

Jake was more even more confused now. “Huh? What??”

“We must have fallen asleep,” Jason concluded, still rubbing his head.

“Wow, you’re a freaking genius,” Jake teased.

“My mom’s going to kill me!” I had realized.

“Nah, we’ll just sneak out the way we came in,” Jason said as he stood up from the bed and moved over to the window.

As Jason climbed out of the window, turned to me with a worried look on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but then obviously changed his mind and went to follow Jason out the window. He turned around again before climbing out. “We’ll just keep this to ourselves,” he smiled and followed Jason out of the window.

I rose and looked out the window. I watched Jason and Jake do their ‘we’re-cool-guys’ handshake. Jake ran towards his house and Jason disappeared to the back of my house.


A week after Jason, Jake, JJ, and I had fallen asleep together, my father was allowed to come home. The house looked back to it’s normal old self. Mother had the repairmen come the day after father had gone to the hospital to fix the kitchen. The feeling in the house was eerie. Mother hadn’t been herself. She was jumpy and couldn’t stand the police. She turned them away so many times. The police weren’t helping much. They still didn’t know who had broken into our home. I spent most of my week with Jason and Jake, out of my house. I dreaded each day’s end, when it was time to go back home to my pacing mother and the spookiness of the house.

Today, however, the atmosphere was glazed over. My mom and I pretended like we hadn’t been fighting all week. She went and picked daddy up from the hospital. I hung back and made sure the house was just fine. JJ was back in his newly cleaned cage and I stood in the middle of my room. Looking around, I asked, “Is there any thing else to do? Something seems out of place.” JJ looked at me and yawned. In fact, nothing was out of place. Out of habit, when something bugged me, I organized and clean. Jason called it a gift; Jake called it a curse. I called it a habit.

I heard the front door slam shut from down stairs and a familiar, “Jillian, sweetie?” that belong to daddy.

I jogged out of my room and skipped down the steps, three at a time. That brought me to the living room. I ran into the front hall and wrapped my arms around daddy. “Careful, Jill, honey,” mother touched my arm.

I backed off and helped my daddy through the front hall to the kitchen. He sat down at the table. His blue eyes, which used to sparkle, seemed sad and tired. His jet-black hair was unkempt. I put some coffee mix in the coffee maker.

“How are you feeling?” I asked as the coffee began to fill the pot.

My father bluntly replied, “Tired.”

“That’s to be expected.” My mother patted him nervously.

I took the pot of freshly made coffee and poured it into three mugs. I gave one to mother and one to daddy, and then sat across from my beloved father with my mug.

For a long while, there was silence. The three of us sat there, not looking at each other, although we were strangers. After what seemed like an eternity, there was knocking at the front door. With a sigh of relief, I rose to answer it.

I pulled the door open hoping that it would be Jason or Jake. Instead, there stood a policeman. “Err…Hi officer.”

“Young lady,” He stood there with out moving. In his blue outfit and his silver badge, we stared at me like I should be saying something.

“Err…is there something that I can do for you?”

“You father home?” The officer raised an eyebrow as he spoke.

I opened my mouth to invite him in, but my mother laid a hand on my shoulder. “What is this about, sir?” she asked sternly.

The policeman took off his cap and gave a little bow. “Officer Mathews, Miss.”

“What are you doing at my house, sir?” mother asked without a change in tone. It sent shivers down my spine.

“Was wondering if I could ask the mister a few quick questions.”

“No, you may not.” The officer looked surprised at my mom’s response. She shut the door. Mom then followed the hallway to the kitchen, whispering under her breath. I moved to follow her, but stopped myself. I didn’t want to go back into the kitchen. Something inside me warned me not to.

I sighed deeply and yelled, “I’m going to Jakes house!” I needed to laugh.

I left through the front door. The sun was still in the sky and yet to start to set, for it was only 4:30. I took a deep breath. The flowers and trees smelled wonderful. Turning left, I listened to the sounds of summer. I hopped up Jake’s porch steps and knocked on the door.

Jake’s mom answered. “Hello, Mrs. Andrews. Is Jake around?”

“Yes, but you may not see him.”

I stood there stunned for a moment. Then I formed the words, “Why not?”

“He was out all night. Grounded. Good day, Jillian.” With that, Jake’s mom slammed the door shut. I stood on the powder blue porch for and moment, staring the white door.

Does she know about last night? I thought to myself. But she couldn’t! No one knows. I shook me head and walked back down the walkway. I was temped to go in the back yard and see Jake through his bedroom window, but I decided he was in enough trouble made my way to the sidewalk and walked past my house and went up to Jason’s stoop. I knocked on the door.

I was happy when Jason answered it. He looked a little confused, “Hey.”

“Hi!”

“I just called your house, but your mom said that you went to Jake’s.”

I shrugged. “I did. He’s grounded for staying out all night.”

“So, you decided to go to your back-up best friend?” Jason looked hurt.

“What?’ It took me a moment to understand what he was hinting at. “Jason! I wuv you!” I threw my arms around his neck. “I just wanted to see Jake. Then he could cheer me up on our way here.” I pulled back from the hug.

“He is better at cheering you up,” Jason smiled.

“You guys work better as a team.” I beamed back.

Jason moved aside and let me through his doorway and into his house. He shut the door behind me. Jason’s house was always so clean. Like me, Jason was an only child. (Jake had an older sister who was off in collage.)

There was a half wall between the front hall and the kitchen. Opposite to the wall, to the left, was the living room. Straight ahead was the stairs and just to the right was the hallway that leads to the dinning room and what used to be the playroom. Jason’s house formed a circle and as little kids, Jake, Jason, and I would chase each other around it.

“So, what’s up?” Jason asked.

“Nothing, really.” I replied with a shrug.

Jason walked into the kitchen and I followed. “How’s your Dad?”

I sat at the kitchen table and Jason took two cokes out of the refrigerator. I shrugged again, “Alright, I guess.”

“You guess?” Jason raised his eyebrows at me as he slid the coke to me and sat down in the seat across from me.

“Well, mom’s all weird around him. But then again, she has been weird since dad was put into the hospital. The twinkle that used to fill me with such comfort is gone. He’s different.” I opened my soda and took a sip.

“The police have any leads?”

I shrugged again, “Don’t think so. An officer was by earlier, right before I came over, actually. He wanted to talk to daddy, but…”

I sat up straight and listened hard. “But?” asked Jason.

“Shhh, didn’t you hear that?”

Jason shook his head and opened his mouth, but instead of his voice coming from across the table, loud screams of pain came from outside the house.

“That’s sounds like…” I paused for a moment.

“Jake?” Jason and I questioned. We leaped out of our chairs and sprinted out the door. We ran full speed to Jake’s house and stopped in front of it.

“Ow! Ouch, ouch! Owwwwwwww!”

“Jake?” I yelled.

“Backyard?” Jason suggested. We looked at each other and took off.

Jason beat me to the gate and swung it open. I saw his face go from worried to shock. I stopped next to him and my eyes fell on Jake. If felt as if all the air had been sucked out of me. Jake was sitting up with his left arm cradling his right. He rocked back and forth, sobbing and mumbling about how much it hurt.

When I could breathe again, I told Jason, “Go through the back door and call 911.” Jason obeyed without a word and ran into the house. I walked over to Jake slowly and realized he was right below his two-story high bedroom window. “Jake?”

Jake jumped. He obviously didn’t know that people had been in the yard. I gazed up at his window and wondered why he was below it with a broken bone. Then, movement caught my attention. Jake, realizing that it was me who was standing next to him, found words to say. “Someone in the house,” is all he could manage.

“Are you alright? Did he attack you?”

Jake nodded, although even now, I don’t know which question he was answered. I looked back up at the window. The figure was gone. Jason my heart stopped. I dashed into the house.

The back door led into the kitchen. Their kitchen looked like ours had. Dishes were smashed everywhere and papers had been thrown around. “Jason?” I called. I moved into the house. I went into the living room, which was left of the kitchen. I yelled again and listen for an answer. No luck. I moved towards the steps. The cordless phone looked like it had been thrown down a cliff and the pieces scattered along the stairs. “Jason?!?” I began to climb the stairs, careful not to step on the pieces of the phone.

At the top of the stairs, was Jake’s room. The door was ajar and looked broken. “Jason?” I heard a groan from behind it. “Jason? Please. Is that you?” I rushed towards the door and attempted to push it open. . It was definitely broken and it refused to open. I started to panic. I could hear Jason on the other side, groaning with pain and the only thing standing between him and me helping him was a stupid broken door. I pushed with all my weight on the door. “Jason!!” I screamed.

After a little while, I stopped pushing. I pressed my ear against the door, struggling to hear anything. A few seconds, I heard creaks. “Jason?” I whispered.

“Breaking into people’s houses?” I spun around and backed into the broken door. A person in a black cloak looked at me, or at least I thing it was looking at me. The hood was pulled low and covered the whole face. My heart began to beat faster and I wondered if the figure could hear it too. “Did I startle you, darling?” The voice sounded familiar. It was lighthearted, nonchalant and self-centered. The sun had begun to set, and there was a creepy shadow settling in the hallway. “Oh, my. Now, what to with you nosy kids?” The figure said to itself as it began to pace. “Nosing around where you don’t belong.”

I stood completely still, hoping that it would forget about me or not see me if I didn’t move. It continued to pace in front of me. “First your friend Jake. He should learn to keep climbing and not look. I would have finished him, but you,” the figure stopped dead and crooked it’s head towards me, “and you ever so stupid friend, Jason, had to come ruin it all.” The figure turned its whole body towards me and stood up straight.

It stood like that for a moment, starting at me through its cloak. It made me cringe. “You were supposed to be here though. You told your mother you were going to come here. Did you lie?”

“How…?” The figure held up a hand and I became quiet like an obedient little puppy that was getting in trouble.

“You took your sweet little time. Smelling the flowers and looking at the sky. It was easy to beat you here.” Although its face was still hidden, I felt the figure smile.

“Who…?”

“That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?”

My muscles tightened, but I forced myself to stand up straight. “Is…?”

“Jason?” the figure began to pace again. I swallowed hard. “He did stop groaning, didn’t he?” I opened my mouth to talk, but the cloaked person continued. “But then again, maybe he isn’t in there at all. Maybe you’re going crazy and your hearing things. “I felt my lip beginning to quiver.

I could feel the eyes smiling at me. “I’m sure he’s not dead, I don’t thing I hit him hard enough to be dead yet.” I wanted to reach out and smack the sarcastic, teasing voice. I couldn’t seem to move though. I stood there, just looking at it. “Well, child, any more annoying questions?”

“So, you broke into my house,” I said although the thought had just occurred to me. The covered head nodded. “Why, then? Why did you attack my father?”

“To kill him.” My face looked puzzled. The figure sighed. “For money.”

“Why would you get money?”

“Life insurance, after all, he is my husband.” The cloak was pulled from her head. My mother’s eyes looked back at me.

“Mom…” I choked.

She smiled an evil, evil smile. Her eyes, which used to be a beautiful, rich brown, now seemed black and dark. I stood in shock. The women who had taught me that cheating and lying were wrong, was attacking people without any worry and without a care. “Darling, everyone’s greedy. I just happen to be nasty, too.” She continued to smile.

“But...”

“But nothing. I couldn’t deal with marriage anymore. It was tiring.” My mother put her hand into her robe, “I can’t really deal with motherhood, anymore, either,” she pulled her hand out of the cloak and in it was a gun. My heart leaped into my mouth.

My mind was flooded with thoughts. All at once, I was thinking hundreds of things at once. Even now, as I look back, I can’t remember a quarter of the thoughts that entered my mind. I thought of the mother that raised me and compared it to the one holding a gun to me. I thought of Jake, sitting in the yard, winning over his broken arm. I wished that Jason wasn’t unconscious in the next room with the door jammed. I wished for him to be okay. I thought of my daddy. I wish he was with me at that moment, to protect me has he always had.

My eyes went hazy and I just stared, through my mom and through the scene. A sudden rush a numbness went through me and pushed out my fear. The world around me became like a dream. I gazed around absentmindedly and my mom just stood there.

A sudden movement made my senses come back all at once. My mother stopped smiling and asked, "Jill?"

My eyes focus on the movement, behind my mother on the stairs. A person stood there with something in his hand and one arm bend close to his body.

My mother followed my gazed and turned around to get hit in the face with a stick. She stood there for a moment, stunned, and dropped the gun.

Jake stood and looked at her with such hate. In fun-loving Jake, I thought I'd never see such a look. He stood looking at her with his right hand gripped tightly around the stick. He gathered his strength for another swing. Mother was quicker to react this time, and held the stick in her hand for a moment.

I saw the hatred turn into such fear. Before I could think about what I was doing, I was on my mom's back. Jake's legs gave out and he collapsed right there on the steps. Not knowing whether he passed out or not, I let me guard down for a second to worry. My mother through me off her back, into the broken door behind me. I other hinge broke off and I hit the floor with a thug. Pain rushed through my head through my back.

Half out of it, I gazed up at my mom. she stood above me. She said something with an evil smirk , but her voice seemed to distance and I couldn't make out her voice. She held her gun and took aim. I just stared until I heard voices behind her. I tried to see what was coming, but my body ached too much to move it. It was harder to open my eyes and my head pulsed with pain. I faintly saw my mother turn around in slow motion and something take her by the hands. Someone knelt beside me. I think he said something before my heavy eyelids closed.


The sunlight hit my face. I rubbed my closed eyes then slowly opened them. I was laying on my side on a rather uncomfortable bed. The sun light streamed through a thin curtain that covered a small window. I granted as I rolled over and saw that Jake was at my bedside.

"Morning sunshine," Jake smiled weakly. His left arm hung in a sling wrapped n a cast.

"Morning," I mumbled. I was glad to see him, though. I sat up effortly and felt my head pound. I pressed my hand against it and let my heavy head fall back to the pillow. I gazed around the rooms. The walls were painted white and there was a blue curtain pulled over next to me.

"You feel alright? You okay?" Jake asked.

I kind of shrugged and replied, "My head," and I took my hand from it.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Sort of." I thought for a moment and asked, "Where are we?"

Jake shook his head and with a laugh said, "The hospital. Where else would you be after being hurt?"

I smile. "Shush! My head hurts." We both smiled. "so, where Jason?"

Jake turned in his seat and pulled the blue curtain aside. Jason laid there, fast asleep. "He hasn't woken up at all yet," Jake turned back to me.

"He looks...peaceful," I said with a smile.

"Yeah, whenever Jason isn't talking, he looks peaceful." I giggled. "Hey, Jill?"

"Hey, Jake?"

"I'm really glad you're alright. You had me really scared when she threw you into the door."

I shrugged. "I'm glad you're okay, too. I though for a moment. "Hey Jake?"

"Hum?"

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Uh...well...yeah..."

"Jake?"

"Jill?"

"He is..he's..he's alright, right?" I asked. I felt tears weld in my eyes.

"She poisoned him. He barley go to the phone to call 911 after she left after you. He'll be alright, though. The doctors don't think that there's any permanent damage."

I sighed with relief and again relaxed.


That's my story. My mother betrayed my dad and me, but we got through it. Jason had been attacked when he when he went into the house. He told me that my voice saying his name was the last thing he heard before passing out. Jake, Jason, and I are still the best of friends. Our children are friends and we all live right next door to each other. I wrote this in loving memory of my father, who passed away just two weeks ago.


[Writer's note: This is a FICTIONAL story. Please don't send condolences about my father, because he is alive and well. Just thought I'd let you know because people have thought it to be real...I guess that's a good thing. :)]


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Comments

The following comments are for "The Lost Summer"
by Kimmysings17

yikes
What a great story! This was well-polished, it flows. Now the nitpicking details: drawls, lied, and collage. Check the spelling.

Yes it seemed quite real up to the part where the mother is revealed to be evil. The relationships between characters/friends are really quite well done, and I woner if you had any life inspirations.

Great writing except the main character seemed too impersonal talking about "My mother betrayed my dad and me, but we got through it." Either it means Jill's therapy sessions caused a lack humanity or that Mrs. Phillips is a really bad mother that her daughter weren't too shocked, saddened at this(however, your writing implied and said otherwise).

I think you did a great foreshadowing here, the nervous temperament of the mother who always paced to and for. One suspects afterwards that this is not the first time the mother went, in a word, bonkers. I think a little more detail here and there about certain character traits(e.g. the pacing), the past, will make the overal story more believeable otherwise the evil mother seems slightly ridiculous and keep the reader from dismissing your story as a puerile attempt for a plot twist.

Anyways, continue your effort. These are just some small things, it is a great story, you've obviously spent time on it.

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: April 15, 2002 )





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