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Oh how I love your poetic tone,
But the path you seek is far unknown,
By me, by life, by everyone,
The path you follow is the less traveled one.
It may be long, bumpy and tough,
But promise me you'll never give up.
If you lose your way,
Retrace your steps.
If you fall and hurt,
Get up and forward push.
What destiny you seek is unknown to me,
You shall make it what is shall be.
Welcome to the less traveled one,
Where few people come from.
Know whatever you do,
My blessings are with you.

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The following comments are for "The less Traveled One"
by Kimmysings17

lovely poem
It is my opinion that you should use "unknown" only once(I think you should replace the second one)I like this. It sounds nice in my head and seems like an encouragement. However, "forward push." sounds a bit brutal compared to the rest of the poem. The two words kind of chopped up the poem for me.

"Where few people come from." should be reworded because it prematurely ended the flow of the poem. The last two lines didn't fit in very well with it. There is a sense of something more at the end of each of your lines up to that point.

The above are strictly personal opinion and by no means objective.

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: April 15, 2002 )

One I like this poem reminds me of alot of things that peole choose to do that are hard yet they still succeed, and sometimes with the help of others.
I do have a critique though i agree about the second unknown. And me myself and i, yes there are three of us in here. i like the line furious is refering to, and i like the end of the poem the best. It is always good to know someone is there for you.

( Posted by: P.B. Hedwig [Member] On: April 17, 2002 )

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