Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

The words I hoped to never hear
were just spoken through the phone.
He said he told her once again;
“Their relationship was done.”

The words I hoped to never hear
Flowed freely from your lips.
One step closer to going home.
I’ll have to come to grips.

The words I hoped to never hear
were just spoken with such glee.
You were all choked up, about to cry,
When you shared those words with me.

The words I hoped to never hear,
my heart just missed a beat.
What was I truly thinking?
Was there a way I could compete?

The words I hoped to never hear
just left my dreams all tattered.
“I told her hun”,was what you want
It was all that ever mattered.

I by no means consider myself a writer, I just play one on the internet.

Related Items


The following comments are for "The Words"
by Snapshot

No need to stroke my ego, if it sucks please say so ;) I respect the opinions of the talented writers here, and have only started writing in the past couple of months. You can't possibly hurt my feelings, so lets have it?

( Posted by: snapshot [Member] On: September 12, 2004 )

snapshot the words
it's a private write bout private things. how you feel about it and how you write about it is up to you and you shouldn't worry if anybody judges whether it's good or not. i think it's good.

( Posted by: DieBaronHobskewward [Member] On: September 13, 2004 )

Jim/getting better
I hope you are getting better (as in healing, and your wife too) just wanted to tell you, this is very good. You just keep getting better. (as a poet). warm regards huni.

( Posted by: huni [Member] On: September 13, 2004 )

Stapshot, this is good!!
IF you want comments to help you with your writing, you are right in placing such a comment as you did. Many of us respect one another's writing of personal feelings. We also respect the will to learn to become better writers.
One little hint for you to try, read your poems out loud. Somehow it makes it easier to "feel" the flow. I so often do this with all poems I read on here,,,not just of mine.
I feel that this one of yours flows nicely. You are a natural for this. I do not feel any forced rhyme here. Very well done. Keep them coming, you are now on my Fave list!!!
Darlene :-)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: September 13, 2004 )

Thank you all
DieBaron, I'm glad you liked the poem. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Most poetry is about our lives though.

huni, You are too kind. Everything will work itself out one day, Good or bad. They always do.

Darlene, The support here has been wonderful. Thank you so much for taking the time, to read and comment. I started writing things down about what was happening in my life, wha ta great release. Now I very much want to continue, I am enjoying writing and reading very much. There are many "works in progress" that are being fine tuned as a result of the encouragement recieved here.
Thanks again to all!

( Posted by: Snapshot [Member] On: September 13, 2004 )

The Words
Jim you are a natural, your words flow effortlessly. These are the types of poems I love to read. About feelings. I think a poet should be willing to lay it on the line, and you do. Very good.


( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: October 12, 2004 )

On the line.............
Nae, you are too kind. These are also the kinds of poems I like to read, not neccesarily write. We make our own beds, and we must lie in them (so to speak). Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. Your work and input is very much admired.

( Posted by: snapshot [Member] On: October 12, 2004 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.