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7daprdan
10Dargo
9PETERPAULINO
10rainierthisyear

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Broke, tired, wishing I had one more quarter.
Do you know how loose the rich are with their money?
Hundreds of dollars wasted on a whim.
Why must the poor drown while the rich swim?

Marks, Francs and dollars, I shrug in despair,
they say they have fun but I think itís unfair.
Snake eyes or craps, the dice always roll,
no matter the outcome this game takes its toll.

The one arm bandits are crooks thatís for sure.
You blow all your quarters, but reach for one more.
Blackjack is simple, a good game to play.
But, no matter the odds, you lose anyway.

These games of chance are evil you know,
theyíll take you high and leave you low.
So look out for the gambler, heed what I say:
he wants all your money day after day.


------
Staggerlee
By Robert Hunter

1940 Xmas evening with a full moon over town
Staggerlee met Billy DeLyon
and he blew that poor boy down
Do you know what he shot him for?
What do you make of that?
'Cause Billy DeLyon threw lucky dice,
won Staggerlee's Stetson hat

Baio, Baio, tell me how can this be?
You arrest the girls for turning tricks
but you're scared of Staggerlee
Staggerlee is a madman and he shot my Billy dead
Baio you go get him or give the job to me


Delia DeLyon, dear sweet Delia-D
How the hell can I arrest him
when he's twice as big as me?
Don't ask me to go downtown -
I wouldn't come back alive
Not only is that mother big but he packs a .45


Baio Delia said just give me a gun
He shot my Billy dead now I'm gonna see him hung
She waded to DeLyon's Club through Billy DeLyon's blood
Stepped up to Staggerlee at the bar
Said Buy me a gin fizz, love


As Staggerlee lit a cigarette
she shot him in the balls
Blew the smoke off her revolver,
had him dragged to city hall
Baio, Baio, see you hang him high
He shot my Billy dead and now he's got to die


Delia went a walking down on Singapore Street
A three-piece band on the corner played "Nearer, My God, to Thee"
but Delia whistled a different tune
...what tune could it be?


The song that woman sung was Look out Staggerlee
The song that Delia sung was Look out Staggerlee
The song that woman sung was Look out Staggerlee
The song that Delia sung was Look out Staggerlee




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Comments

The following comments are for "The Gambler"
by Staggerlee

staggerlee/gambler
Nice to see some of your work. Welcome to Lit. regards huni.

( Posted by: huni [Member] On: September 11, 2004 )

Staggerlee
An intersting choice of topic. I used to work in a Casino and did wonder why people did it.

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: September 11, 2004 )

enjoyed
This had a nice meter and flowed well SL. I enjoyed it. I'm wondering why you didn't rhyme those first two lines? Intentional? Everything from then on is. Otherwise "dollar" would rhyme with "quarter". Next line you've also got dollars mentioned so maybe that wouldn't work. Other than that it worked well for me. smithy

( Posted by: smithy [Member] On: September 11, 2004 )

Jason
You remind me of a good poet here in Lit who I really admire. I won't tell who, I even suspect you are him, because, despite the fact that he is also kind of outspoken when he comments, he is a very good writer - just like you.

I like this piece very much.

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: September 16, 2004 )

Stag
Him and his familiar. I too were a familiar of someone.

Nice write, Jason, they are ashamed for acknowledging your good piece because you are ruthless when you comment.

( Posted by: rainierthisyear [Member] On: September 16, 2004 )

I was drawn in
by my name. It wouldn't happen to be me you're thinking of would it, Pete?


Reading the comments, it doesn't sound like anyone's ashamed at all.

Staggerlee, I don't think anyone's offended by the tone of your critiques as much as they are by the lack of content. In my experience, people don't mind negative feedback, so long as it's constructive. And for the most part yours haven't been.

As for your poem, the rhyming scheme should be consistent throughout, and the rhymes themselves are rather simplistic.

I would say that instead of simply stating 'Blackjack' you hinted at it, like you did with the slot machines.

Overall not a bad poem, but it didn't blow me away either. I'm a bit of a gambler myself, but I only play poker. I don't like games purely of chance.

Regards,
Jason

( Posted by: eleutheromaniac [Member] On: September 16, 2004 )

I like...
The title... It again drug me in... (a second time)

I read this before and waited to read again before commenting... It caught my eye again and when I got here it was better the second time...

This is more of what I expected from you in your writings...

Good representation and content...

You've done well in this writing...

( Posted by: daprdan [Member] On: September 16, 2004 )

Jason-Eleu
LOL I would agree you are outspoken at times and that I admire you as a writer too! But I could take back the word 'outspoken', staggerlee is not just outspoken, he is 'provocative'!

No offense intended, Staggerlee. I like you as you are, and I am the one you couldn't piss off, I swear! Again, I am commenting here because I truly loved this writing. I still believe you are the author I like, who right now I miss. ;D

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: September 16, 2004 )

Gambler
I enjoyed this, kept my mind occupied and interested. Look forward to more of your work!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: September 16, 2004 )





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