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*Hi guys.. This was built to be unusual. Let me know if I've suceeded in a good way. I've deliberately violated conventions of grammar because it leads to a more interpretive reading. It is syllabic verse, but other than that it doesn't really have a form. Hopefully you will enjoy it.

Midnight Nature
---------------
Yellow thunder crashes, smashes
Bashes down the spectral door
Of a poet's wild mind
His wisdom like flecks of gold
Unseen until collected

His situation's critical
Analysis which suits him well
Frantically he seeks a verse
Pen as though a diving belt
He'll use to sink, (pray to swim)

He tastes the words upon his tongue
Bitter, sour, sweet or fleeting
Moments hard to capture scatter
On intangible surfaces
As convoluted as the brain

He has a single dream in life
That to be studied after death
Though within all men lies greatness
Few will rise to the occasion
Head high he'll walk amongst those few.


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The following comments are for "Midnight nature"
by sixstrungout

Midnight
I always work better late at night, must have been bitten somewhere.

This was a very interpretative read, very concise in the feelings that the poem gave off, of frustration, a tired mind perhaps trying too hard?

Intersting reading.

Alex :-)

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: September 2, 2004 )

Thanks!
As a matter of fact, it was meant to capture the phenomenon of writers block; an extreme and devestating form of frustration. You seem to have an eye for poetry similar to mine, Alex. What I posted that I didn't think was all that great, I recieved no comments on, but the ones I am proud of, Illuminations and Midnight Nature both drew comments from you. I very much appreciate it.

( Posted by: sixstrungout [Member] On: September 2, 2004 )

Subtle Six
I think I like your subtle pieces, the pieces that always shine out to me are the ones most difficult to comprehend if you have not been in a similar place. What did it for me was the third stanza, you perfectly described the running of words through your mind, using the various 'taste buds' in your mind.

Thank you for saying that, I've never had anyone say that before and I'm really flattered.

Alex :-)

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: September 2, 2004 )

I didn't see any big grammar
changes or ones that I take issue with, anyway. It is poetry, after all and I enjoyed it. I got the writer's block concept at the second stanza and it was cemented by the third.

I think you've done a good job here. Nice work.

( Posted by: cyn [Member] On: October 18, 2004 )

midnight nature
I'm glad I went back to have a look at your earlier stuff. This is terrific. Nice flow to the tongue, great word choices and imagery. And dear God have we not all had this moment.
Thanks

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: March 28, 2009 )





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