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reading your letter
in the wisteria arbor
shadows deepen


"I place these moments in my pocket
to be pulled
at the rush of noon,
the crush of three...
when tears come,
when words must learn to be enough..." MKL

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The following comments are for "The Letter ~haiku~"
by Serenem

Shadows melinda
I just love the idea of the letter creating the shadows, how sad and wistful this could be if read that way - or how cool and charming a scene you create if the letter is good news. love it, huni.

( Posted by: huni [Member] On: August 27, 2004 )

the perils of -ing
I like this very much as well. The ambiguity that Huni pointed out is what makes this so poignant. Makes you want to shout out WELL? WHAT DOES IT SAY??

I think this haiku works well, but it did remind me of a comment someone made on the site Simply Haiku. Below is the link to one of William Higginson's tutorials there. The bit I am referring to is under the header Problem #2: The Perils of -ing.

William Higginson can come across as rather opinionated, and in this instance I do not know whether I agree with him or not, but it is food for thought. Some of you might be interested.

( Posted by: sahelsteve [Member] On: August 27, 2004 )

the ing beauty

again, SereneM is at it again, producing picturesque highcoos.
Looked up the excellent page of the -ing clinic. Too meticulous for such a beatiful genre.

( Posted by: teflon [Member] On: August 27, 2004 )

This was perfect!!!! PERFECT! PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT!! Did I mention it was perfect.

I love the last line, drops you right in there!!!

I also have three different types of wisteria in my garden, one of my favourite plants of all time. Well, that and canna lilies!

Instant satisfaction!

Alex :-)

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: August 27, 2004 )

I have a small Tea house, come barbeque shelter I buit in te corner of my garden. it is covered in wisteria.

The deeper meaning of your poem reminds me of the times at night, when I have let my dogs onto the field and just stood in there thinking about things waiting for them to retirn.

Since your advice on haiku on my post 'post mortem' (pun intended) I have looked at quite a lot on the site, I commented on one I thought was good, this one also to me is very good, I love the extended meaning you can get into this. My recent post 'Empty Noise' attemps this and it was the extended meaning I wanted to express, unusally for me I had to dig deep to find the connection with nature to write into it,

Thank you once again for the help you gave me with this,


( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: September 10, 2004 )

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