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bowing low
I see ants on a peanut shell
sallifana prayer

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The following comments are for "ants"
by sahelsteve

Steve/river blind
Steve, I am enjoying these and you make me curious. ~wink~ Salaam Alekum, huni

( Posted by: huni [Member] On: August 25, 2004 )

Where did my comment title from your other Haiku come from? sorry, huni.

( Posted by: huni [Member] On: August 25, 2004 )

comment title
that's okay - proves once again the interconnectedness of the universe.

btw, sallifana is the Fulfulde word for the second of the five daily prayers in Islam. On reflection, perhaps I should substitute 'lunchtime prayer' - that is clearer but adds a nice bit of haiku-esque double-meaning.

( Posted by: sahelsteve [Member] On: August 25, 2004 )

old liberal me
'True' haiku is in Japanese, Jessica ;-)

Sorry, you are right of course, 5-7-5 has usually been the norm for English haiku. But over the years there has been a shift from the 5-7-5 model to other patterns of generally fewer syllables. Look at any of the leading haiku journals and you will find very few 5-7-5's:

I'd be interested to know what others here think about this 'liberalization' of the haiku.

(And since I've mentioned, may I recommend the Haiku Clinic at that same site - it is SOOOOOO brilliant and helpful)

( Posted by: sahelsteve [Member] On: August 25, 2004 )

This is absolutely fabulous haiku and right on the money. You are quite right about haiku-- true haiku is written in japanese and mostly, when translated, come out to somewhere between 12 and 17 'syllables'. There has been a shift toward writing haiku with less syllables in order to emulate true haiku. 5-7-5 syllables is a western deconstruct of the japanese form.

I love your haiku, Steve-- for someone who has only just taken it up, you have a wonderful feel for it!



( Posted by: Serenem [Member] On: August 25, 2004 )

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