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I want to tell you something,
About a little thing called life,
It feel’s like forever,
When really it's only a short time,
We've got so many messed up things,
Like violence, rape and crime,
But all anybody ever says is,
Take it in your stride.

People tell me what to do and how to behave,
Tell me everything I do is wrong,
And how I‘ve got to act my age,
I once got told to learn from my mistakes,
And that in life you've got to do whatever it takes,
To become the most popular,
To become the most sane,
To do what everyone does,
To all be the same.

I disagree and here's what I think,
That we're all joined by a very small link,
A link that connects, but only by soul,
A chain that will one day rule the world,
But until we all realise that we are all one,
How can we relax and ever have fun.

I feel my happiest when I am just me,
When I let myself shine,
For the whole world to see,
Maybe you should try and be just you,
And show the whole world what you really can do.




------
You laugh because i'm different, I laugh because you're all the same.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Just be......."
by BabyPink

Welcome, Stephanie, TinaLouise's daughter
It's nice to 'meet' you. You've inspired some of the sweetest, most loving poetry I've ever read, and it looks like you've inherited some talent as well. I like this poem. It is very positive, and I find alot of truth in it. I wonder if Peterpaulino would call you 'gypsy', lol, you certainly have a voice that I've heard many gypsies reflect. Hope to see more of you.

( Posted by: mzjen1 [Member] On: August 22, 2004 )

Baby Pink
Stephanie,

The wisdom you show in your words both spiritually and emmotionally shows you have got to grip with the real things that matter in life.

'I disagree and here's what I think,
That we're all joined by a very small link,
A link that connects, but only by soul,
A chain that will one day rule the world,
But until we all realise that we are all one,
How can we relax and ever have fun.'

How true,

Welcome to the site,

'Have Fun'

Ivor



( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: August 22, 2004 )

did u mean 'now put the kettle on?'
Hee hee hee, I love being a pedantic (or do I mean a pedant?) Anyhow, Stephanie, I love this piece for its sincerity and obvious passion for telling it how it is. I'm 48 and sometimes feel I've been watching the world go to hell in a straitjacket for the past half century.
Okay, now for the criticism: found myself tripping over the rythym in a couple of places, ie; 'when really its only a short time
we've got so many messed up things' - perhaps you could lose a word in each line here and see how it feels.
try 'really it's only a short time
there are so many messed up things'

'and that in life you've got to do whatever it takes' - also feels a bit too long. How about
'and in life you must do whatever it takes'

Other than that I can't fault you, this is an individualist's poem, I can't stress enough how important it is for you to keep writing. The world needs sorting out, before it's too late, the more people that bring attention to this fact the better.
Btw. nearly forgot my manners, welcome to the 'hood. Hope to see loads more from you.
Take care
Paul the Ogg


( Posted by: ogg [Member] On: August 22, 2004 )

baby pink
This reminded me of my school days, especially the second verse. I try to be myself at work but it can be so stressful I give up!!

Thank you for sharing and welcome!!

Alex :-)

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: August 23, 2004 )

Welcome Pink
Greetings and welcome to the family of great writers. This is a good effort, so good in parts. But, if you're going to improve we have to be gently critical. In that vein, I agree with Paul the Ogg, and found the rhyme a tad off and jarring in spots. From this readers perspective the beginning was solid but the ending was very strong. The middle was a little muddled, and can be improved. Keep it up and keep writing!

( Posted by: Odysseus [Member] On: August 23, 2004 )

Thank - you
I would like to thank everybody for the helpful comments, I'm sure my writing will improve with time and with your comments.
Thank - you for taking the time to read my work.
Ciao x

( Posted by: BabyPink [Member] On: August 24, 2004 )





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